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anonymous
writes: Hi there ive got a problem thats eating me up.Every relationship I have ever had some how and some where down the line the guy has cheated on me leaving me extremely insecure. I met my new partner approx 18 months ago and i truley trusted him but my major problem was my drinking and my insecurity of his love for me. Around 5 weeks ago i found he was on porn sites and it deeply hurt me and instead of talking things through i went on a massive bender which for him was the final straw.He walked out on me and it screwed me up. At that time I couldnt look at it from his side and felt like the wronged woman and went to the doctor for some tablets to get over the depression that had set in and she convinced me to go on an alcholic support group which I have been going to and ive also been taking my tablets and i also attend relate to talk things through but there is one thing I cant stop and thats my insecurity and jelousy issues.My partner has come back home after a break I no my partner would never cheat on me and I would never do it to him but since I stopped the drinking my issues have increased I dont want this to be the next thing that drives him away cause we love each other any suggestions to help me any books classes anything at all you guys thanks
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (16 October 2006):
 You really need to always be honest with him about your issues and how you are feeling, when you hide this stuff from him and then just go on a bender he doesn't know what to do as you are shutting him out and therefore he is probably feeling like you don't trust him enough to share these problems with him or just can't.
In every relationship we need to be honest about our problems because there is nothing worse than being with someone that is making you feel like you are shut out of or they are holding back on certain parts of their life.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): If he really loves you and you really love him, then you should talk to him about your problems every chance you get. Quitting drinking is a very difficult thing to do, and I'm sure he'll support you as you go through it. You could try to see a counsellor about your relationship problems, and try to reach an understanding with one another. Once alcohol is out of your life, I'm sure you will be very proud of yourself and he will be proud of you as well. Don't worry about the porn, because most men look at porn. As long as they live by the rule "Look but never touch," you should try and forget about it. Try to be optimistic about things; everyone is a little insecure at times. When you're feeling down, just think of everything you're greatful for or do something you enjoy. I always recommend getting outside and going for a long walk. It gives you time to yourself where you can think things through and not worry about the other million things that are going on in your life.
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