A
female
age
41-50,
*iddy77
writes:So me and my husband have been married almost a year now ,ever since we got together we have done everything together .we moved to where he is from .we lived here for about three weeks before .his old friend showed up and then after that it was every day he dnt call or anything .we have been into it all summer about it . Friday I ask my husband if he could not show up at r house Tuesday because it is my birthday and I just wanted it to be us .he showed up and stayed till dark .I dnt Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2016): Is your husband having an intimate relationship with this man? If not this friend is surely either mentally unwell, possibly has a personality disorder that means he has no concept of social boundaries, or is deliberately trying to sabotage your marriage. You could try leaving the house the minute he turns up and leaving your husband to entertain him.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 your husband is in the wrong here, as he should have told his friend he has special plans for you and him for your birthday, it seems that your husband is very laid back and does not see the problem here. I agree with Aunty BimBim time to talk to him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 Tell your husband you need to talk to him, sit him somewhere neutral, at the kitchen is good, make sure there is no TV or radio to distract him...
Say his name "Ken, your friend being here every day is making me feel there are three people in this marriage. I feel I don't have any privacy."
Make sure he is looking at you while you are speaking, if he looks away ask him if he can hear you, then ask him if he has any suggestions for how some boundaries can be set for his friend.
If he wont take action and limit his friend's visits sit him down again, and this time tell him you feel less important than his friend, and that you are not prepared to stay in a marriage where his friends come before you.
Get some counselling, and if nothing changes within a month consider moving out. Nobody needs that sort of crap at your age.
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