A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I met about 4 1/2 years ago. At first it was all roses and sunny days. But after the first year he started wanting other women. I almost left me when I was pregnant because he was bored with me sexually. After that he apologized and said he wouldn't do it ever again. At that time he would watch other women and not me. He'd watch pron but "didn't have energy" for me. He would tell me he wanted to sleep with his coworker and thought it didn't bother me. He promised to give up the porn, but to this day he looks at it behind my back. I've told him it goes against my morals. He doesn't care it seems.It's gotten to the point where i can't stop fearing every moment of everyday that he is betraying me and lying to me. He betrayed me a gain on the 1st. Said it wouldn't happen again. But in my heart, I know it will. I'm lost. He is the father of my child, I've planned so much with him, I'm afraid to leave.
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male
reader, Who +, writes (24 April 2009):
 Let me try this again, with better spelling. It is clear your husband does not value you nor your marriage. He may be treating you extra bad to get you to leave, rather than him leaving. If so he may have several reasons, like he is simply too lazy to go himself. Or he is trying to get in a position where he can get out of his responsibilities to your child. In divorce settlements, it is often the party that leaves that gets the lesser part.Your husband is financially responsible as well as you for your child. As stated below, splitting is going to be hard for you, much harder than for your husband. Don’t make it harder by letting him shirk his responsibilities. Go see a divorce or family court lawyer. The first meeting should be free. You can tell them your story and they can tell you the next steps you should take. They can also tell you the options you have in your state (separation, none contested, etc) and how much it will cost. You can decide what to do after getting the facts.Best of luck and stay strong. Take happytochat’s advice below and I’m sure you will make it work out.
A
male
reader, Who +, writes (24 April 2009):
Talk to a divoice lawyer before leaving. you need to get him to be respodible to your child.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (23 April 2009):
I think you should leave him!!! No decent guy would EVER EVER treat someone like that, not someone he loves, not smeone he is in a r/ship with, and just not even somebody he barely knows.
What sort of guy tells his partner that he wants to get with his coworker? That is horrible!! And he shoudlnt even be feeling that way. But he is, and beleive me it is NOT because of you and because you are pregnant. It seems all he cares about his sex- he wants to get with his co worker, despite your feelings, he watches porn- even though he KNOWS it hurts you, and he was prepared to leave you because you are pregnant and he found that 'boring'. He is obviously not in the r/ship for the right reasons. He only wants sex, and he only cares about fulfiling his own needs! Very selfish.
You dont deserve that. None of this is your fault. He is just a selfish person. So dont blame yourself.
There are so many other great guys out there who would of treated you with 100% respect in this situation.
I understand that your situation is hard to leave because of your baby, and you had plans with him. However, you must think about thing sin the long term- in the long term yo uwill be VERY unhappy in this r/ship, your self esteem will become zero, and his behaviour will only get worst- abusers always do. Not to mention the bad influence he will have on our child, whether that be neglect just because he simply doesnt care, or just a overall bad influence.
Do you have any family or close friends who you can temporarily move in with? Just while you sort out what you can do. Dont stay there for the sake of your baby. Your baby will thankyou one day when he/she can understand. Trust me, children would rather be 'from a broke home, than be in one'.
You may benefit from talking to a close friend or family member about the situation. Maybe they can help you find the strength to leave. Do yo uknow any single mothers? Talk to them, go to them for support. Yes it may be hard at first but yo uwill work it out and in the long term life will be alot better.
Finally, if you are still struggeling for strength and need help, maybe you could talk to a counsellor. They are alot of ones which you can go to for free as well.
Hope this has helped
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