A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My husband of 4 years told me he wants a divorce, yet he has made no move to leave the apartment we rent. We were not having any problems that I know of. Should I broach the subject of reconciliation or just get him out?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2007): I would cut the cord, he is probably screwing around on you. Men don't share the same rational brian waves we have, they decide something and that is it. My husband just told me after 7 years 2 dogs and 2 cats he wants out. He said he doesn't know what he wants. It's all the same banter, it's bull crap and he knows what is wrong but he is stringing you along. My husband had the nerve to say after all he said that if I go back to the west coast in 2 weeks maybe he will want to work it out. What a bunch of crap. He is trying to string me along, I told him once I am gone I am gone and there is no going back. You tell him to shape up or you are gone (if he doesn't leave first). Men are ficle they want what they want when they want it - you tell him it is not gonna fly with you - you are worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Talk, why can't you talk to him. Get him to open up. It might not be so bad after all. He might just want some space.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (20 November 2006):
If you're going to broach any subject, it should probaby start with "Why are you unhappy?"
Even if his answer is a short one, then you have more information than you appear to have now. It will get you started.
If you're not aware of any problems, and yet he's talking about divorcing, then somewhere, somehow... there's a problem. You need to start by talking about that and discussing if there's any way to fix the problem.
Although it's never possible to "make" someone love you if they no longer feel it, there was almost certainly a reason you two married in the first place. Talking about what's changed in the last four years, and understanding the other person's position may help mend the wound. That's likely the only way to start a reconciliation.
If he's made no move to get out, that might actually be a positive sign that he's willing to reconsider or to be persuaded. If you don't want a divorce, then TALK with him!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 November 2006):
He definitely owes you an explanation and a reason for wanting a divorce! Sit down with him and have a nice long chat. If he won't sit down and discuss it with you then it's probably another woman. Insist that he discuss this with you but there is nothing you can do to MAKE him do it. If you cannot smooth this out then either you pack your bags or he packs his. Maybe a separation will bring him to his senses. Good luck.
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