A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i went out to a work function Saterday evening he got upset. Beacause i gave wrong directions and we both did not know the place. How ever i did mail the invatation card to him 2Days before with the directions. Now that night he told me before the end of the year he is going to be single. He doesnt like his life with me anymore. He says im childish, and dont look after myself and we are two different kind of people's. We barely talk to each other and he wants to have fun. He told me he doesnt like me anymore, i donot look sexy to him anymore, The whole evening he staired at a lady who where behaving like a 12year old at a formal dinner venue. He told me he wants a woman whom has a car, Car lisense and much more. Yes i donot have my car lisense as yet , Because i do not have friends or family to take me but only my husband, and it never were a problem before and i am bussy working on it. I really do love him alot. Then Sunday he goes on as if nothing happend and where nice to me. He says he does everything for me, i do try my best really.He is a jelous person, can get angry some times. But why would he make a marriage commitment towards me and God we are together for 13 years he is 28 years old im 25years old. Im not that fat avarage looking, and i will defently say im good looking. But why whould he say such nasty words. I Told him if you tread someone like a child , you would keep on thinking that person is a child... I said it in a nice way.Because he keeps on telling me im just a child he doesnt have time for this , especially if its talking to a child. He said he doesnt wanna be with me anymore and not one day of his life did i impress him or looked good?? I dress up everyday, make - up, clean the house . Do the washing,cooking, and get along with his parents also. He told me about a month ago i will be pregnant in 2months time. I work everymonth and dont even get a ome money from my salary. So he goes and entertain his friends for a weekend getaway. So he told me if i need something please ask, so i dont have money nothing every month. He has everything So i ask him could a please have a some money (Not much) he told me i dont have money. Then i just got my salary that day you know... He then asks me later for what i told him women stuff (Make -up , and so on) He tells me i dont have money for crap like that. then he spends alot off money on friends or fishing trips away.So the other day he says 2 weakends from now we going fishing i ask him where and when and with whom? He had a fit... i use to tlk to him like that, he started saying i do not ant a women whom sits on my head. i will do what ever i want to do when ever i want to do. (then i thought to myslef, but we are a couple married dont i have a say also?) I really do not know what to do anymore. He told me this morning i should talk to him like i would talk to my Dad or mom. So since i dont have friends i made friends with this one lady , she is a good person. he told me that she behaves like a whore and some other stuff. So today ima tell her its best if we are just co-workers. well you see i had to wait for my husband almost 2hours to pick me up from work then she said shame no you cant wait that long ill drop you off everyday she doesnt ask me anything...So what to do?? Im very comfused. ok i also do not smoke , i dont like to drink alchohol (Just a cider or 2 ) He how ever did get wasted with some friends and lady friends alot off times . then they are all drunk and im sober. Well proparly because i have to be the barlady everywhere we go. If its his parents place , home or friends.He says to everyone well if youre dring is finish she will go refill youre glass( i like tell him they have there own wifes to do that)or they can do that themselfs he then tells me do not get me mad or do you want me to hit you in the face infrunt off all these people??? So go on with your shit!! Then he will avoid me the whole night even at home because i said that :( Sorry its so long just thought you might want to know as much as you can.... sunday morning he asks me a piece of paper he had wich he used . i ask him how does it look or what is written on it . He then says my stuff is always a f$@$up. i thought to myself but i did not have it or seen it how must i know what to look for so he got angry so i started to look for something i dont know what to look for. He goes and sleep i could not find it so i did not look anymore. He did not talk to me however he chatted till the morning hours on a chatting network.. We use to play WOW (world of warcraft) together as a hobby for about 5 years so he started to play it a week ago he told me there is not money for me to play aswell and i will not play again. So basicly if i watch tv he says im lazzy and asks me what am i doing??? So i have to walk all the way up stairs and answer him he doesnot like it if i answer him and im not upstairs where he is. He will then say i want something to rink so i go down stairs get him a snack and something to drink. then when im just there by him upstairs he will say bring me my phone i will ask him where did you put it. He will say look for it. So i walk all the rooms in the house looking for it , then its in his car!!! he wont say sorry just what is taking you so long. If i ask for something bring it imidiatly.So the other day he asks me for his phone charger i walk down stairs went to the bathroom washed my hands because i were bussy claning the house . He freaked out why did i take so long.... I told him but you not gonna phone some one i just wanted to wash my hands, He told me just go down stairs. You are iritating the crap out off me. The other morning i did not do the dishes it were only 5 glasses i were really tired did the washing and iron the day before so then he started to yell at my why did you not do it as yet...i try to tell him i were tired and will do it right away but coudnt explain myself he screamed at me you always have a answer to everything...I cant talk to him (Social) because these days i dont know what mood he is in. If i would ask him how is it going, he will say it sgot nothing to do with you. Stop asking stupid questions, then not even 5 minutes later his mom or some one else will ask him that he will answer them nicely oh had a bussy day lots off meetings.. why cant he talk to me like that. So i told him and ask him his opinion what do you say i start to do my own thing i mean like (a hobby part time if it goes well do it full time)designing or so then i can work for myself. He didnt even talk to me back. So i got the place where i can go for my lisence the number everything his little brother come and visit us he give it to them. I do not know what to do anymore. Please help me what am i doing wrong??? When other people is around us he will make asif nothing is wrong as soon as they leave he will tell me go get something to do leave me alone im not in the mood for you....
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be pregnant, co-worker, drunk, in the mood, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010):
Get out get out get out get out!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): RUN, run as fast as you can. You are so much more valuable than this. I know you may not see it now, but after you get out, you will.
He is an awful man and with abuse like this, it only gets worse, never better. Take your own paychecks, find your own place, get some counseling, and tell him to go to hell.
You are SO MUCH BETTER than this.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Beat him to the punch, kick him to the curb before the end of the year. It's time to end your slavery and get a life of your own. And take him for every penny you can. You won't regret it I promise.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): drop the creep
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): You deserve a better life with a husband who cares for you! The way your husband is treating you is unacceptable. He is a bully!
No one deserves to be treated like this, not even an animal.You deserve love and respect, but you have to respect yourself first.
My advice is get out of this abusive marriage, leave him. I understand this will be hard for you as you dont have any friends for support but you really shouldn't resign yourself to a life of misery.
I hope you find happiness.
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A
female
reader, linda248 +, writes (1 February 2010):
OMG Leave the idiot, you put up with him like that because you been with him for a long time since you were really young, and you dont realize how badly he is abusing you until you leave. He is treating you like that because he gets away with it. I know its not that easy for just to leave, but trust me you will be fine after a while. You are young, you can do anything you want to. go get you license, go for designing,and whatever you dreams are.Good luck and I hope everything turns out ok for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): You are in a very destructive relationship - he is emotionally abusing you and I suspect [by the lack of money and his behaviour] that he is cheating on you and spending money on the other woman.
Time to call on your friends and family for support, get your life together and get out!
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