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female
,
anonymous
writes: My husband hates the fact I am friendly with our parish priest. He has gone into a rage cos he saw me talking to him in the town and accused me of sleeping with him. I like the priest as a friend and feel nothing towards him in a sexual way. In my head he's a priest first and a man second. I have many male friends but for some reason the priest is causing my husband to be a paranoid android! Our marriage is now in terrible trouble as I cannot forgive my husband for not listening to me as I am telling the truth and I have no compunction to play his mind games. I do not want to stop speaking to the priest and feel as a grown woman I should not be told who I can and cannot speak to. Advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2006): Gone are the days when all priests are 100 pecent safe. Perhaps there is a reason why your husbands reaction to the priest is this way. Maybe he knows something that you dont. You have to weigh all alternatives/ptions and not jump the gun here.If he can allow you to have other male friends that you can confide in, i see no other logical reason for him not wanting you to be friends with a priest. Try to ask your husband in other ways if there is a reason for his objection and if he has cause it will be better to stay away because a man pretending to be holy and using people is one of the worse kind of persons you can find.xxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2006): I cannot understand your husbands reaction. Does he have some mental issues that need to be addressed? Is this a new marriage? I am at a loss to understand why he thinks this should be an issue. Surely a priest is the 'safest' person u can spend time with and him not feel usurped. I can understand why you would be friends with a priest as u will not get the vibes u may get from other men and u r in no danger of running off with him. If your husband is insanely jealous then the problem is totally his and he needs help. he shouldn't make u feel like u have to lose that friendship. if he will not listen to reason then i feel maybe this relationship has run its course. No trust no marriage.
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A
female
reader, Granny +, writes (20 July 2006):
 I have thought about this a lot before I answered your post. I think maybe your husband is just jumping to the sexual infidelity attack because he fears what you might have said to the priest. You confess to your priest too, right? I am just imagining possible things and maybe jumping up a gum tree here (getting it wrong). Perhaps he thinks you are telling the priest his sins - real or imaged too. I think your husband may dislike the fact that he thinks you might be telling the priest personal things about your relationship. This may be jealousy if he thinks you are talking about personal things and beliefs more with the priest than with him. Maybe even, your husband has had a private disagreement with the priest in the past that you do not know about. As always, communication is vital, you must talk to your husband calmly and quietly about this. You are right to have a good contact with your priest and a right to talk to him, but you must address your husband's fears and reassure him.
Wishing you all the best xxx
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Well dear i see your point really. I would be very offended myself especially if nothing is going on. Seems your husband doesnt trust the priest for some reason. You did mention in your posting that you have other male friends and he doesnt seem to mind so they must be a reason while he has singled the priest out.We can rule out your husband being jealous and possesive and wanting to select friends for you since he hasnt done that before.
The problem might not be his lack of trust for you but his for the priest(except you have given a course to distrust you before ).I am just guessing but i have to ask ,are you sure they isnt anything he is aware of about the priest that is making him uncomfortable?How long have you know the priest?
You have to ask yourself the effect of this on your marriage. If it is a negative factor and u really do care and love your husband then it might be best to end the friendship. THis is my advise though. I believe relationship is all about compromise and i am sure if there is a lady who is close friend to ur husband and u DISTRUST her then you wouldnt want your husband to be her close friend.
Whatever u decide i wish your all of life goodness.Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (20 July 2006):
Well dear i see your point really. I would be very offended myself especially if nothing is going on. Seems your husband doesnt trust the priest for some reason. You did mention in your posting that you have other male friends and he doesnt seem to mind so they must be a reason while he has singled the priest out.We can rule out your husband being jealous and possesive and wanting to select friends for you since he hasnt done that before.
The problem might not be his lack of trust for you but his for the priest(except you have given a course to distrust you before ).I am just guessing but i have to ask ,are you sure they isnt anything he is aware of about the priest that is making him uncomfortable?How long have you know the priest?
You have to ask yourself the effect of this on your marriage. If it is a negative factor and u really do care and love your husband then it might be best to end the friendship. THis is my advise though. I believe relationship is all about compromise and i am sure if there is a lady and is close friend to ur husband you wouldnt want your husband to be her close friend.
Whatever u decide i wish your all of life goodness.Goodluck.
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