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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello!I've been married just three years (2nd marriage), his first marriage. However, he has had numerous lovers before me. Those affairs produce 2 children by 1 woman. They are adult children. Every time he calls each one of them, they always ask, "have you talk to mom", and proceed to give him her phone number. He to calls her. At the end of the convesation, she tells him she loves him and he says the same to her. Then after hanging up he looks at me and tells me it didn't mean anything. It hurts my feelings and I get very angry. Do you think this is appropriate for him to say that to her? What should I do?Karen
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 I don't believe this is appropriate. There is no reason for him to be telling any other female besides you that he loves them, well besides family members. If he don't mean it, then why say it? It's not like he's with her and going to hurt your feelings by not saying it, there's just no reason, especially if it upsets you. YOU are the one he married, so those sacred words should not be said to her, it's actually kind of wrong. It don't matter that they have children together, there's is absolutely no reason for this. You should have a talk with him about this and let him know how you feel about the situation. If he loved her, then he shouldn't have married you, that's it!
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 In my honest opinion the answer has to be no here for two reasons:
a) He is with you. True it is possible to love more than once and remain in some form of love with past partners but the point is he is with you and it is hurting your feelings. Your feelings should come first over hers.
b) He shouldn't say it if he doesn't mean it.
As I said above your feelings come first. Rather than get angry, hard though this may be, tell him how much it hurts you in a firm manner. See how he responds and take it from there. Explain that you accept they may need to talk from time to time re the kids but that the display of affection hurts you. Hopefully he will modify his behaviour accordingly.
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