A
female
age
51-59,
*iechelle
writes:i have been with my husband for 15 years although only married for 7 in may, i have been sexualy assaulted and lost a pregnancy, which i have blamed my hubby for over the years as he used to run away and leave me stranded before i got attacked, we have 2 small children and yesturday my husband told me he sometimes hates me, has lost feelings for me although he still loves me. he also confessed to an overdose 2 years ago of 60 pills and never told anyone, he just went to bed, he told me he has visions of hanging himself at work and crashing the car to kill himself, he says i was to blame i drove him to it, i feel desperate and hurt, but i am getting help from monday, i have told him i do no longer blame him for my problems and am really sorry, he thinks he sholud move out for a while but is scared i dont want him back, but i said it works both ways, i am hurt and scared, what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): You have been through so much but i think it is your husband who need the professional help. He also need to move out so both of your can get back on your feet and be strong. He says he hates you and loves you. His head isn't right! You need to get hold of this situation. Ask him to move out and if you still feel you need help then get yourself sorted. Stop letting him blame you for things and don't keep blaming him either. From today make a fresh start and move forward - not backwards. I wish you both well and keep in touch.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): You have been through so much but i think it is your husband who need the professional help. He also need to move out so both of your can get back on your feet and be strong. He says he hates you and loves you. His head isn't right! You need to get hold of this situation. Ask him to move out and if you still feel you need help then get yourself sorted. Stop letting him blame you for things and don't keep blaming him either. From today make a fresh start and move forward - not backwards. I wish you both well and keep in touch.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Regardless of the state of your relationship, your husband has significant psychological problems and requires urgent treatment. I don't think you can address all the other things that have happened to you both until you both get professional intervention - you are clearly traumatised by what has happened (I was assaulted a few years ago and recently lost a baby so I do understand). I hope you are receiving counselling as you will not be in a position to help your husband until you do. Good luck
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Im sorry to say it but i think it is your Husband who has the problem and not you. From what you have wrote he sounds like a very unstable character. How can you lose all feelings for someone, hate them, yet love them?. I would be more concerned about his overdose two years ago,and his visions of suicide with the car, then blaming you for driving him to these actions.
You have every right to feel hurt, you have been assaulted and lost a pregnancy.
He say's he may move out, well probably this is not a bad idea as this will give you time to collect your thoughts and decide if you want him back or not.
Good luck x
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