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female
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anonymous
writes: How do I get my moody husband to communicate with me ? I have been married for 5 years now and have 2 children ages 8(Boy) and 2(girl). I have a hard working husband who can get moody and angry quite easily. There are times he scares the children when he gets angry for no good reason.For example we went clothes shopping for the kids and in the shop he just became moody and wanted to go home then and there.I asked him what his problem was and he replied that I know what it was. Up to now I still don't know what the hell he was talking about and decided not to say anything to him incase his temper got worse. To me he acts like a psycho at times and I wonder If it is worth carrying on with this marraige. He does not see that his behavior is over the top. As for the communication he does not want to talk about anything and If we do he leads it into an argument and he takes what i tell him to heart.He acts like a spoilt brat at times and nothing is fun in our household because he is sure to spoil everything. Please does anyone have any advice how to deal with this matter other than ending this marriage. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Rocktobergirl  +, writes (13 August 2013):
Responding to Sept 4.
I completely empathize. The part about being Grand Knight- was remarkably similar toy situation. After 25 years of marriage - 6 beautiful children, a thriving business that we were partners in--I found out on my 25th wedding Aniversary, my husband-business partner & the Grand Knight of our church group --had deceived me in the most disgusting ways. Years of personal & professional unpaid taxes, 3 of 4 of our homes were in foreclosure, my husband even forged my name to refinance one of the homes for cash to buy himself a 32 foot phallic symbol/yacht and a brand new range rover! And just when I thought I had heard enough- right before our 30th wedding Aniversary- I discovered he has been utilizing porn sites/masturbation at home & public ally for years. He has recently reunited with 2 of his 3 children he abandon before we were married. at that time- he told me they were being well taken care of by their mother! till she dropped them off with 3 bags of their wordly belongings. i should have know then what a selfish self centered person he was. We have been to counceling alone & together. I honestly don't know what will help us- but it is comforting to know you are not alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): I have a similar problem, however, my husband sides with the kids against me. he has done this for 15 years. He is a very evil person. He goes to church every day. He puts up this facade that he is a very holy person. But to me and the children, he uses foul language, f-bombs, rants and raves like Mel Gibson. He wants the children to abuse me. he tells them that I am an a-hole and then has them agree. he is the most horrible person i have ever known. To the church community he is wonderful. He is the grand knight of our counsel. he frightens me. My oldest daughter knows how bad he is and tries to counsel me. I built the house that I live in. He has three children of five that are either going to or are in prison. Our pastor told me to keep his children away from mine. I can't go anywhere with him as he screams and rants and doesn't care where he is. This has been a terrible situation. He has also cheated on me. The woman came after me in the most insane manner. She wanted my beautiful house, which he promised her. he told her that he could get me out of the house as the family was starting to think that I had gone crazy. My son turned into a heroin addict as his children were drug dealers. I could go on and on. this man is a terrible human being.
Please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): This is sounding so familiar, but i have just got married. Shit!
How did others deal with a similar situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006): I am sorry you are going through this, dear. I have to assume from your posting he wasn't this way, in years past? People who are always moody and angry, are dealing with an 'inner unhappiness' of some sort with themselves. This problem is his..so please don't blame yourself. He's likely turned his discontent on you, because he cannot face his own troubles. The only real way to turn around this destructive pattern is for him to face up to the problem that's underlying his negative state. This will only be achieved by counseling..but know that he must get to the point where he realizes he has the problem and only he can do something to resolve it. He has to be willing to make your life, his children's life and his own life better. Open this subject up in a caring, loving gentle, honest way. But be honest..tell him you are scared-tell him you are very unhappy. . How he reacts to this will be very 'telling'. If he accepts he has a problem and seeks some help..encourage him but let him kow this is the only way this marriage will work. He has to get his anger and mood swings in check. This is not a healthy environment for your young children. If he reacts to your openess, with more anger, then get out as soon as possible. (Don't allow yourself to get baited into an arguement) Leave this situation asap and protect yourself and your children. Have a plan in place. Go to a shelter, a safe place. Talk to family and trusted friends but make sure your children are safe. Realize, he needs help and fast! He's one very, very unhappy man. Good luck , dear and keep us posted on how you make out.
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