A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a lady aged 41, my husband is 44,being together for5 years now,our relationship was perfect the past 3 yrs,but now he is secretive especially on his cellphone,he can't even put it down when he goes out or to bathroom, when he charges it, is off,so I don't know what is happening, the other thing he went to collect his son from other ex girlfriend to visit us for holidays and did not have a problem with that,i am not happy about that, and he tells me he loves me, so I don't know whether is lying to me or not, no hugs,no kisses, or communication when he comes back from work like before actually he has changed the attitude please advice me what to do
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 October 2014):
 Listen to your gut feelings. If his changed behaviour (no kisses, hugs or communicating any more) started at around the same time as his changed behaviour with his phone I would be thinking something is going on that he doesn't want you to know about.
Your best option might be to ask him straight up why the sudden need for secrecy and if he feels you need to change your deodorant because he doesn't want to get up and personal with you any more.
See how he answers. For a relationship to grow and develop there needs to be open and honest communication.
I hope it works out for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2014): I would keep me eye on him. Do not assume nothing is going on. Always be on the look out that something is. When women turn a blind eye to what is really going on, men get away with cheating. So do not hang him but just be aware. Eyes wide open.Usually changes in behaviour are a sign of something going on. Are the no hugs, kisses, or communication when he comes back from work something that has suddenly changed or has it changed over a certain period of time? Is it because maybe one day he was stressed at work and forgot to show you his usual affection?Or is this happening every day when he comes home? If it happens here and there, it should not be an issue as there could be legitimate reasons which do not have anything to do with you... but all the time? I would be concerned. I would ask him why. Maybe there are reasons. See what he says and then you decide if the reasons are good enough. Then tell him you would like him to go back to being affectionate like he was before.Secrecy around the cell phone is another red flag. Does he have a password on it too? Taking the phone to the bathroom is not a good sign either.Him picking up his son at an ex girlfriends should not be a problem in itself unless he is going there all the time or more frequently or behind your back or is communicating to her on his phone without you knowing and maybe a possible reason he is so secretive around it. What vibes do you get from him? Is he still sexual with you? Wanting sex? Having it as often as before? You can usually tell when your guy goes cold and distant. So check his overall behaviour. But changes in behaviour I think are always something to keep an eye on and question.None of these things is a sign he is cheating BUT they could also be a sign of cheating.It is too early to tell and there is not enough evidence yet. Keep an eye on him. You will know if something is up.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 October 2014):
 Preliminary evidence is weak at best to just assume he's messing around or anything so I wouldn't get too concerned. The lack of hugs and kisses is not unusual either. We men are just not all that way unless it's very early on in a relationship and we're trying to impress a girl.
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