A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Fifteen years ago, my husband stopped speaking to his family save for his cousin (who was a groomsman at our wedding) and his now deceased grandparents. We had already been dating by then and he was SERIOUS about getting away from them all. I knew the whole story about what happened and just tried to play the supportive role of good girlfriend.He moved to Buffalo, New York three months before I did so I could continue working and save as much as I could before I moved out there myself. I also needed to find a suitable job I could transfer to so I could keep bringing money in. I have to say, that was probably the hardest three months of my life but he was just relieved he was away from his family.Three years later, we got married back in our home-state and his only family there was his cousin, his grandparents, his dad, and his aunt, who made our wedding cake. The rest of our guests were pretty much all of his friends past and present and my whole family and a few friends.Over the next 12 years, we had our five kids and then last Wednesday, we got news from his cousin: My husband's mother died from cardiac arrest. At first, he felt nothing for her; I mean, they hadn't spoken in 15 years, the emotional tie is severed by then. But I made him attend her funeral because she IS his mother. Only two other people showed up: My husband's uncle and a very old friend of her's.Of course I came with him as support (which he vehemently denied needing support for) but half-way through, he broke down in tears. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Fifteen years,________. Fifteen."After that, I didn't know what else to say but to help him back into the car, onto the plane and we went home, which is now Germany. Now that we're back, he hasn't spoken to anyone since his mother's funeral. I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. I've been supportive, but I've never been in this kind of situation before. All I can really imagine is that he feels remorse for not talking to his family in 15 years.What am I supposed to do, though? I'm so afraid he's going to do something stupid like start harming himself in more ways than one. Please help... I need to get my husband to open up before it's too late.
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