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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was once head over heels in love with my husband, but 15 years and 2 kids later, no more. I had a rough time in our early years; he broke up with me multiple times and he freaked out when I got pregnant (our birth control failed). Throughout our relationship, he always "shut down" when I tried to tell him about my needs he wasn't meeting. Finally sick of looking for him to try and improve things, I started having more fun without him, including a big trip with my girlfriend. Now, he's so in love with me, and I feel cold. Can I ever find what I lost? Is it possible to re-fall in love with someone? Now I'm bored and impatient and barely nice to him a lot of days. Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2005): Yes..you can rekindle that spark you once had. You can let go of all the past hurts and start anew. How? You just have to forgive what he did in the earlier years...let it go. A healthy, fresh love relationships is not possible without forgiveness. You cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with him, much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to things that happened in the past. Leave it..let the baggage of the past go..it's not worth the energy it takes to hang onto it and life is just too short. Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook any hurts they've done against you and to move on with your life. It's the only way. It means cutting your husband some slack. Please remember, non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle and keeps you cold to your husband. Being willing to forgive can bring a sense of warmth, peace and well-being. The things that two people in love do to each other they always remember. And if they stay together, it is not because they forget, it is because they forgive. Go on...take a chance on the husband..learn to forgive..and then put the past to rest.
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