A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Husband crushing on a younger female friend of ours. A few months ago I thought my husband was making inappropriate comments when under the influence of alcohol to our friend,also when her relationship was braking up my husband appeared way to involved with the advice giving. If I heard one more time how it's for the best, she's an attractive girl and she's too good for him!! I spoke to him about the comments and behaviour and that I am concerned he's got a crush on her, when I reeled off several of the comment's he's said together he admitted it didn't sound good and has promised to stop which he seems to have done. Now that her relationship is definitely over she has started flirting with my husband, I'm assuming for attention as not getting any now. She is in our friendship group so is difficult to avoid, always makes a beeline to sit next to him, leans into him, always touching his arm, even getting fluff off his face! So with his crush and her flirting I'm becoming worried and paranoid I feel I'm watching all the time looking for signs something has started between them, I'm driving myself slowly crazy and can't stop thinking about it especially when I'm not out with them and feel god knows what's going on when I'm not there. Husband says nothing has or will ever happen just wish I could stop stressing about it and believe him
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2022): Guys who are frustrated or bored with wife - especially ones who are not that bright and big headed - like to think that every woman who is separated or divorced or on her own want them. It makes them feel good. Some of them try to take it further and go to bed with them given half a chance. It does not mean that he fancies her it means he is looking for a hole inbetween a pair of legs. He would be just as eager if it was any other woman who was reasonable age and looks. Why does he need to do that? Ask yourself that and work it out because it all comes back to how you both are in your marriage!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2022): If you have a good marriage and your husband loves you this would not bother you or worry you. You would be secure in the fact that he is simply being sympathetic or polite and not interested. You are making a big fuss about it because it worries you that your husband is far more keen on this woman - or other women - than he should be. Yet you try to put the blame on the women he fancies. Wise up. He is the one with big ideas of seducing this woman. Not nice. Not nice to want to cheat on you or take advantage of her. See????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2022): The only solution to this is remove your husband from this woman’s company permanently. If he values his marriage and doesn’t want to lose you, he will have no choice. This younger woman brings nothing to your lives except trouble so she shouldn’t be in your life, period. Sometimes we must take drastic measures. If your husband was an alcoholic and you wanted him to stop drinking, would you be okay with him going to a bar regularly, always being tempted? Well, she’s the alcohol and the bar. And she’s dangling a wine glass in front of his face. And what’s this about them being out without you? Totally unacceptable! That needs to stop now. Good luck. Your husband is a jerk. A weak one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2022): My dear, your husband is the one who made himself available and sent signals to let her know he's attracted to her. You have to direct your concerns to your spouse. Temptation is bound to come along, and it doesn't discriminate between the two of you...it's either, or!
You need to sit down and have a talk with Mr. Overly-concerned and remind him of his vows. He has to be set straight first and foremost; she's not innocent, but from your comments one would derive there is a mutual-attraction between them.
Most mishaps can be avoided through communication; but if your husband has a past history of being flirtatious, or has outright cheated; he should be placed on notice. I suggest he be the one you deal with; and let her know, you are aware of her sneaky little tactics, and if she wants to remain friends, keep her distance. Make it abundantly clear, your eyes and ears are wide open.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (4 October 2022):
 I agree with Honeypie, she is not the problem, your husband is.
He could nip this is the bud and put a stop to this in a polite calm way and that would be the end of it. But he is not doing any thing because he likes the attention from a younger woman.
I feel communication is the key here, you need to tell him he needs to step up and tell her the flirting has got to stop immediately. How would he feel if you were flirting with a younger man?. im guessing he would not be to happy.
If this does not stop then maybe consider a new circle of friends.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 October 2022):
 Maybe you and your husband need to take a wee break from this "circle of friends" a little?
And maybe you need to pull HER aside and tell her she is being inappropriate, that just because her marriage didn't work out it's not OK to hit on someone else's husband.
Also, your husband is a spineless shithead. He will just SIT there and let her FUSS all over him?
Ask him straight out, HOW would he feel if you were acting like HER with another man, RIGHt in front of him?!
She isn't the problem - YOUr husband is.
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