A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I love my husband so much we have been married for 2 years and i feel like he doesnt want to have sex with me but when i ask him has he gone off me he says no he is just tired. We seem to have sex on a saturday every week its just the same and he gets more enjoyment than me as it does not last more than 5 minutes. I feel so unhappy and i really love him so much i just need more from him and when i do mention things he just gets angry.I am hurting so much inside. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, hany  +, writes (16 September 2011):
Soon I saw movie revolves around a story similar to that
Actress tried many ways to seduce him in the latter that he loves another woman
First, are you sure that he is not unrelated to another woman
If the answer is no of course i will not speak with you about the attention to your appearance and beauty of shaving and perfuming and things like that because these things become known to everyone
But if that you really love him all the love I advise you immediately to discuss these things with him
And of course do not forget to choose the right moment to open the discussion with him
Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): Sorry you're feeling so down. I can totally relate. My husband and I don't have sex, like ever!!! LOL! The last time we had sex was when our son was conceived. Our son is now one month old. I can count on both hands the number of times we've had sex in the past two years honestly. Sad, I know. Neither of us are especially horny people (LOL) so it's not a major issue in our relationship. Sometimes when I really think about it I start to worry and I feel down on myself (like he doesn't want to have sex with me because maybe he thinks I'm too fat, or too ugly or whatever).
...............................
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 This is a difficult situation and I feel for you. It’s possible he is really is just tired and yet it is natural for people to feel they are not turning on their partners – that they are being rejected. It’s REALLY important that you separate your emotions from the equation and do not let it undermine your self-esteem. It is not your fault. He loves you. He is attracted to you. Unlss this is due to a health-issue, he and your relationship, are just in a slump.
Many relationships go into a slump sometimes. Life, children, careers, etc., have a tendency to do this – sex seems boring and life, as a whole, becomes routine. Break the routine a little bit! Add some spice to your life! :-)
Start with yourself: do whatever you like to do that helps you feel sexy and confident. Get manicures, buy a new blouse, take up a hobby that has been interesting to you for a while… some women take up bell-dancing which is great exercise, but also helps them feel sexy! Another option is yoga… feed your soul.. read good books… initiate girl’s day outs – lunches or movie-dates or something.
Avoid bringing up your dissatisfaction with your love life. If you continue to want to “talk about it”, the idea of sex and intimacy will create the impression that sex is a chore.
When Saturday ‘Sex’ night comes along, be prepared to take some initiative. Focus on creating intimacy and do not expect great, mind-blowing sex on the first go.
If this were me, I would try the following, but you can do whatever you think would work best for both of you.
Having read an online article or two about sensual massage (don't be afraid to print it up for easy reference) and having purchased an inexpensive bottle of mineral oil, (if I had time, I would add some of our favourite scents – a drop or two of essential oil scents), I would set up the bedroom with scented candles and towels laid out on the bed (I may have on old bottom sheet on the bed, in case the oils escape the towels).
I would put some relaxing, but sexy music on – maybe some St. Germain? (nothing that will inspire him to sleep) and give him a full Body Massage, starting with his back and shoulders. If he is always tired, he is probably also full of muscular tension. Using your hands to slowly and then increasingly pay attention to his erogenous zones, create a build up of his desire… Be playful - don't be afraid to tease him. ;-)
You can talk to him, but keep the conversation playful. Ask for his input about what you are doing and do not feel hurt if he asks you to change what you are doing. You are getting closer and becoming intimate again. You are also giving yourself permission to help him perfect how to please you when it is your turn.
If he can’t hold out for sex, don’t act like you care; allow him to enjoy his climax. Be happy and pour each other a glass of wine and let him fall asleep, if he wants to. The aim is to add spice and make this fun, so you can enjoy the long-term goal of greater intimacy.
If you create an excitement in him about you – look at how happy she is, look at how busy she is, look at how sexy she looks in that new lipstick, or with that glow of happiness, intimacy with you will be too exciting to pass up, tired or not…
Good luck and enjoy!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Seems like his sex drive is waaaay down. Is he also more tied/fatigued? Could be he is suffering from low testosterone or hypo gonadism.
He is angry because he knows he is failing to please you, more likely more angry with himself then you.
You still need to sit him down (maybe over a glass of wine) and talk to him.
...............................
|
