A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband has on more than one occassion discussed our personal issues with my friends who he is aquainted with and not close. I have asked him to not do this as it has offended me, as I am generally a private person preferring to resolve our issues without involving friends.My 2 friends told me what he had said and expressed that it made them uncomfortable especially that he said do not tell me. He generally talks alot and is mostly domineering in conversations with anyone. This I find extremely annoying and embarassing. How do I get him to understand that I really do not like this and find it inappropriate? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I think what is more important is why he`s doing it. Why not open your ears a bit more. A private person is often only private when they know they are wrong.
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (7 January 2011):
Maybe the answer isn't to "get him to understand" but rather realise that if you could resolve the issue within the relationship then he wouldn't need to talk to outside friends? I'm sure there is a compromise somewhere where you can communicate better and he promise not to talk to others outside the relationship?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Next time make sure your friends take your side and are strong enough to tell him themselves that they don't like him talking behind your back, they are uncomfortable. If I was your friend I would definitely put him straight - my loyalty is with my mate end of. As for the domineering conversation best thing you can do is let him talk talk talk talk and then someone, I guarantee you, will say something to him and it won't have to be you - in other words give him enough rope and he will hang himself on it. Find people with whom you can have equal conversations with - including males - and this will help you deal with your husbands dominance - it is important that it does not start affecting your confidence. Over and above this advice I would look up psychological abuse from husbands as he sounds like he is controlling people's perceptions of you and that he is undermining you. I hope this helps.
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