A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is currently in kurdistan, iraq. We are supposed to be meeting up in turkey in a couple of weeks. Now he is pestering me to go to kurdistan as his family want to meet me. I dont wish to go there because of the situation in iraq. Kurdistan is relatively safe to go and visit although the travel update advises only essential travel. Only just this morning has a bomb gone of. I dont think its my husband that is to bothered about me going but its more his family that wish him to stay there and are pressuring me to to go there as otherwise they know he will leave to be with me. . I just dont want to go somewhere like that at the moment. Should I go or just stand my ground. they are saying there is alot of british there and other foreigners and its ok. Then I have anothere worry that they would try to pressure me to stay there and im not into all this family stuff and all living together in one big house with his family im very independent. I know I wont like it. There seems to be no routine for children going to bed etc, no privacy, I know its not the life for me at all. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 November 2014):
 Don't go, don't let his family get their mitts on you. I have heard way too many horror stories about how they control women over there. A big no thanks.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2014):
 Just stick to visiting in Turkey.
Your HUSBAND, should RESPECT your feelings on this. If you have already told him you do NOT feel it's safe enough to go visit, he should stop pushing for it.
Though not wanting to go because you "won't like it there" ( you think), is a little odd to me. NOT wanting to go because it's freaking dangerous THAT I can understand.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2014): You have got good answers from the previous posters. Why would you go? Why doesnt your husband come to you? I hope he isnt after a visa. Good luck..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2014): You've asked this question before and you got exactly the same responses. Don't go.
Has your situation changed in any way or do you just want reassurance?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (19 November 2014):
 Do NOT go. Anyone who pressures you to go anywhere near where there is war or civil unrest is a lunatic.
You're in a safe, stable country in a safe, stable region of the world and his family can't do much about it from there. If you feel this much pressure now, imagine what pressure you'll be under far from home and everyone you know and love.
The beauty of having to rely on phones and internet is you can have a 'technical problem' any time. If anyone gives you a hard time...'Hello? Hello? Are you still there? Can you hear me? I can't hear you.'
Even if they come to suspect it's an act, they'll learn that any time you don't like what you're hearing....
Stay where you are and do not get caught up in explanations or justifications. The answer is 'NO'. That's all anyone needs to hear.
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