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female
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*indsaycostello
writes: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. through this, we have barely spent any time alone. We constantly have to spend time with other people, namely our best friend Zach. If Zach is unavailable, my boyfriend will make an excuse not to hang out. I discussed this with my boyfriend and he said it was because he feels he is not close to me. I have worked on this and I feel that we are much better friends now. However, he still does not want to be with me when others are not present.Aside from this, he barely acts like my boyfriend. He says this is because he is around other people, but on rare occasions when we are alone, he still is not affectionate at all. Once in a while he will compliment me. The truth is, he gets really affectionate and sexual when he is on drugs, but other than that he never goes past holding hands or the occasional kiss. Yet he still claims to have strong feelings for me; he says this to me and others.What is up with this??
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female
reader, Kikikat +, writes (22 July 2006):
 Harsh to say but it may be that your boyfriend has lost interest in your relationship, by the sounds of it he doesnt seem willing to put any effort into making it work. Has he always been this way? Another possibility is that he's scared, this could be the case especially if this is his first seirious relationship. The fact that he's still telling others that he really cares for you makes me think that this is more likely to be the case. I can see you've made efforts to solve this problem but I also notice that you made the comment that you and your boyfriend are better 'friends' now. Its your relationahip that you should work on not your friendship, try talking to him again about how you feel and maybe suggest you do some coupley things together, go out on dates (just the 2 of you). Try a nice resturant, bowling, pool, go to the beach, anywhere where you can talk and have fun at the same time. Being in a relaxing atmosphere might open him up and hopefully you'll see an improvement in your relationship. Hope this helps!!
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