A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it alright?My boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago, it wasn't mutual, he wanted out and I was devastated. We met when we were 19 (now 24) and lived together for 4 years in a place owned by my grandparents.He broke up with me in a very cruel way, he just left, monday we were buying a house together and planning our future he was telling me that he loved me then 2 days later he told me he was leaving and he wasn't in love with me anymore. I have practically supported him financially then he started a business, he continually told me we would get married and I was the only girl for him. My grandmother is wealthy and her only son, my dad died when I was 4, and my grandfather passed away 2 years ago, I'm her only living relative. She decided to invest half a million pounds in my boyfriend's business I had no issue with it because he told me we would always be together and my granny made it quite clear it was an investment for our future together and because she believed in him. They are both tied into the business, he owns 51% she owns 49% he's tied the contract up soooo tight she would never be able to go back on her word and get the money back, he's also tied it up so she has no say in what he invests that money into, she is a 'silent partner' which she was and still is happy for.She couldn't believe it when he said he didn't want to be with me anymore. She sort of acted as an inbetween between me and him and was talking to him on the phone trying to find out the issue and sort it out, it didn't work, he'd made up his mind. Alot of people have said to her 'he just gone off into the sunset with your money' and 'he will be using the return he gets from your money on a new girlfriend now, it's not going to be used towards him and your grandughters future anymore'.My granny doesn't care, she thinks he great? He has said some nasty things to me over the past 6 months sworn down the phone at me, told me I wont find anyone better than him and just the way he left was horrible. Yet my granny can't see it. She meets up for lunch with him and treats him like her own grandson...when me her only living relative is in bits about it all, he knows what he's doing, he says all the right things to her. He continues to let her properties for her and she doesn't want to cut the ties, even though I have told her how much it hurts she says 'well it's just a business relationship' I hate the fact that I've tried to deal with it and have said to her 'please keep it business, don't talk about me or what i'm up to' but she does tell him, I feel like a pawn. My friends said to me it looks so bad what he's done, just gone off, he should give the money back, I told my granny what they had said because that's what it looks like to alot of people and she told my ex that I had been blackening his name!!!I've stopped talking to her now but she doesn't understand why... she says it's her choice to see him it's not up to me. The rest of my family have made no contact with him and are very disappointed in him, he has made no contact with them either...He's told my granny he had to leave because I was too close to my mum and he found her too hard to deal with, my granny hates my mother, so maybe that's why she has no anger towards him? But it's the perfect excuse for him to use, he knew that would win my granny over... I dont know? I just feel like my granny is feathering his nest and i'm watching this go on...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2014): I think this man is somewhat of a con artist and used you and your grandmother for her money. He has said all the right things to her and it's very unfortunate that she can't see him for what he really is. I think she is being very disloyal to you and the fact that she is discussing him with you is pretty disgusting since you've asked her not to do that. It's hard to believe that she would invest such a large amount of money in a non relatives business and relinquish complete control of it. I would never have allowed my relative to agree to such a deal with my future spouse.All round she has made some really bad decisions here, but the worst is not realizing what is important: you, her grandchild and her future. She should be supportive of you in every way here. Family is always more important than other things. I would distance myself from her and from your x until you are able to come to terms with all of this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): You hav posted this before although last time I believe there was also a car involved. You are clearly vry annoyed to post twice but the answers are not going to be any different. It is extremely unfortunate that he does not want to be with you anymore but if he has not run off with the money and is dealing with your grandmother's investments correctly there is nothing you can do. I would put a bit of space between yourself and your Grandmother until you have had time to calm dowm and distance yourself a little. This is all fresh and raw and you feel even more upset because your Grandmother has not cut ties with him and been loyal to you. I have had similar experiences but the truth is people do not in the main care how others feel about a situation ( not even a close family member) and they are not going to cut ties even though what has happened has hurt you deeply. I had something very similar happen to me and and have sulked and gnashed my teeth over the event for over 4 years now and no one but me cares or is remotely interested. You need to let this go. Your Grandmother still wants to do business with him and likes him, your parents are backing you because they know you have been hurt and upset but the truth is Granny is not going to sever the ties and your boyfriend is not going to come back. You cannot buy him or his love and if I remember correctly he could not stand that fact that you were very close to your mother. I would calm down and no longer mention this subject anymore and try and concentrate on your own work and social life, You need to stop fixating and move on as it is not going to change and I speak to you as one who knows.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (22 April 2014):
Sorry to have to be the one to inform you of this, but the world doesn't revolve around you.
You thought enough of this guy to marry him and convince your grandma to sign a legally binding contract and loan him a half a million pounds. Now that you got your heart broken you want your grandma to dismiss all that?
Not only does that not make sense for her business relationship, but its not your place to request it.
Forget about your ex, find someone who you're compatible with and don't punish your generous granny for a situation that you put her in.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): Sounds like your gran fell for your faith in your ex and now there's not much she can do about it. Don't blame her, just move on from him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): That's a tough one, and I was in this situation with my father, who seemingly was loyal to a horrible guy I worked for. they were in business also. It ended up my father coming to the same conclusion as I did years ago.may be you are right: you grandma hates your mother, that's why she agrees with your boyfriend. But if that's the truth, your grandma is like this wicked grandma from a horror movie. who does things like that?!! Supposedly you are her precious only grandchild, not only as you said "relative" . You are not just a relative, you are her closet flesh and blood. ok, she invested money, she tied up, that's fine, business is business, if there is a contract and business is doing well, than there is no reason for her to get out of it. anything can happen but if there is a solid contract your ex will follow through. silent partner means exactly that: no decision making, but only collect profit.
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