A
male
age
30-35,
*r_miami
writes:My girlfriend is the best girlfriend I have had and think I ever will have, but it's just her past that keeps bugging me! See, my girlfriend 15 and lost her virginity at 12 to a 13 year old boy who she no longer speaks to. She said they did it because they were very close and she thought she loved him. This I do not believe because I don't think anyone knows what love is at such a young age.In her life, she has had 10 sexual partners (not including me)and in my mind, that is a lot! And during this time she did took every drug you can name and drank alcohol VERY excessively because the people she slept with and the friends she had introduced her to all that stuff. Since I have been with her though, she has stopped drinking (except the odd one which I think is fine) and stopped smoking and taking any other drugs. This certainly makes me feel good about myself as I feel I have turned her life around.But it is just the fact that she lost her virginity so young and that she has had more sexual partners at 15 than some people do in their whole life!What makes it slightly worse also, is that this is a long distance relationship (she is coming to live nearer to me soon though).I've also heard that people who lose their virginity at a young age want sex more and more, which makes me wonder if she is with someone else when I'm not there. Or maybe thinking about past relationships...I just want some advice about this because I don't know what to think...By the way, I don't have these thoughts all the time, just occasionally.Thank You!
View related questions:
drugs, her past, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, somedude1993  +, writes (28 July 2014):
hey dude, i just turned 21 and my girlfriend is about to turn 18. including me shes been with 20 guys, lost her virginity at 13. we are in a serious relationship, so serious we live with each other and get along great and are doing great. my point is that i was bothered by the number at first, it would make me feel sick to my stomach thinking of all the guys that have been inside of her. i got over it though because i actually love her unlike the assholes who dated her before me, plus im better than they were (i can make her spuirt, and no other guy before me could do that) i buy her flowers all the time (surprisingly no other guy did this for her either) i buy her gifts and make her things like drawings and all that jazz. my advice is to let go of her past just as you should let go of yours. its something to learn from, not dwell on. well its been 4 years since you asked this question lol so i hope everything worked out.
A
female
reader, Shanarawr +, writes (4 March 2010):
 yes that is alot of people for a 15 year old but everyone has a bad past like i do
but u have to push it aside and live a life tht you want to do.
you just need to trust her and come to terms that her past is her Past as it is called past. if u really love her then u should try your hardest to not let it ruin what you have.
if u break up with her you could end up regretting it. if she starts talking bout her past try to change the subject
hope this helps good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): The present should be what bugs you. Promiscuity and substance abuse are typically cliches for victims of sexual or emotional trauma. Though it could be possible that she's just wild and eager, odds are that she's working through a past issue. Unless she's reached out for help already, you should be aware and cautious. If she has suffered something, it can take years of counseling to fix.
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 10 sexual partners by the age of 15 is not a good thing any way you look at it. Thinking about it isn't ever going to make it better, or make you feel better about it.
You need to decide whether you want to be with her despite this.
If you don't, then break up with her. But to it with respect.
If you do want to stay with her, make a decision for yourself that you'll stop thinking about her past. Then, whenever you catch yourself doing so, change the subject in your head. Distract yourself with something else, anything really. Remind yourself that you have helped her turn her life around, and that you're getting the best version of her anyone has ever had.
...............................
|
