A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Dear dearcupid, My girlfriend is hell of a talkative and she doesn't know when to stop. She eats the brain out of me when gets started. Yeah, I have to admit that between she also makes me laugh with her sharp sense of humour but 80% her talk is irreverent and doesn't make sense at all. Guys what I need to do to make her realize that talking too much makes one's personality sound immature and can have adverse effects on the people around them. How should I do this without hurting her feelings? But I heard that you can't change someone's nature? Any help from you people would be welcomed here.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2011):
it's her personality. either you learn to live with it or you leave her.
I talk to much it drives my boyfriend nuts. he's learning to deal with it.
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (31 August 2011):
You can't change her. Unless you want to look for a new girlfriend (which I do not advice you do as being talkative is not a bad quality. You'll miss her voice if you start dating a mumbler who barely talks...), here's what you do: learn to tune her out. Let her talk, and don't listen actively when it's irrelevant talk. Treat it like noise in the background.
We all know how to tune someone out, and do it all the time. We tune out our teachers in school, our parents, our annoying sibling, traffic noise, the neighbors... you can tune out your girlfriend. It's not about ignoring, just don't give it your full attention.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (31 August 2011):
Stop dating her or take her to places where you need to be quieter. Other people will shssssh her, and maybe she will get the message that everyone does not need to hear EVERY thought that runs thru her mind.
Encourage quieter outings. Remark on the peacefulness of the surroundings. Talk in hushed tones.
Make quiet time for just yourself. If she comments on why you need to be alone-that is your teaching moment to nicely say "Sometimes I really like quiet time-no talking".
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (30 August 2011):
Find another girl who doesn't talk so much and let her meet a guy who thinks your talking is cute not annoying.
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