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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi everyone, my girlfriend is wanting to have time to think about us. she is big in church and I go to church with her sometimes cause she likes it and she told me that she is under alot of stress thinking about stuff and this morning she told me that she wants to think about stuff so I told her I give her space to think and she asked me honestly do I think we are meant to be. I've never had this strong of feeling for someone before and so quick I would do anything for her and she said I degraded her but I didn't know I was our did and I told her I was truly sorry that she could of talked to me about it and we could of workers through it together. so please help on what to do cause I don't want this relationship to end Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 April 2013):
 I don't know what you did either but you said church, then degrading, so I am guessing you had sex and the church peoplemade her feel dirty. You sound like a gentle and considerate person so it couldn't be that you pressured her into sex. If sex was consensual then there's no way you degraded her. She may have chosen religion over you. It's hard to change her opinions and to be with you will add to her stress and the inner battle of bodily desire and being chaste. Maybe with or without marriage, sex will always be dirty to her because of past issues. It sounds like there is a lot she didn't share with you and she looked to the church for comfort. Maybe the church told her she is not ready for sex. I would say that it's not your fault. It's rare to hear a woman saying she feels degraded unless her partner calls her names or treat her like a prostitute. I don't think that's your case here. Maybe she has problems with intimacy and can't open up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): Hi, I've got a similar situation going on here, but the difference being I'm the one who wants time to work out what I want. I've spoken to my boyfriend about not being sure anymore, and he doesn't want it to end.It makes me sad to think of ending the relationship but at the same time I don't feel things are the same anymore after 13 years together. So what I will say to you, as someone who can probably relate to your girlfriend, is that no matter what you say or do is going to have an effect on her decision, unless she you've done something wrong that you could correct, or whatever. For me, I feel how I feel, and nothing will change it, you can't make someone like you. I really hope you can find the strength and positivity to I've forwards with your life if she does decide to end the relationship, I'm sure she still cares very much about you. Keep us updated :)
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