A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My relationship with my girlfriend became rocky and it was coming to a stage where i didnt love her anymore and was ready to try to end it with her when my partner told me she was 6 weeks pregnant. After the initial shock I was overjoyed. But 3 weeks after I met someone who I fell for in a big way. I had fallen for this person 3 years previous but she had a boy friend and as a complete stroke of luck we had met again and immediately struck it off.I've now struggled with my heart and head, I don't want to be the one that leaves a mother with a child.I have seen the new someone twice since after a period of no contact to try and straighten my head out but still feel the same about her. I hate where I am in my head and what I feel I may do and I know I am being the dirtiest scumbag to walk the earth but I just can't help how I feel. I feel i do not love my girlfriend as much as i should but dont want to leave her on her own with our child. The new someone in my life does not know the situation I am in. Although i am head over heels about this new someone I do understand there is a strong chance it might not work out with her in the future. But do feel that if it doesnt work out with her then it doesnt but is it better to know than to do nothing and stay with my girlfriend forever with the possibility of being miserable and with regrets. I know people are going to shout at me and say stand up to my responsibilities and i would agree with them 100% and am prepared to do that but i am worried if i do do that, despite attempts at being happy, my partner and I would be miserable which cannot be healthy in trying to raise a child. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): I don't think it's fair to your pregnant girlfriend to stay with her if you don't really love her. You need to tell her that your feelings have diminished or however you want to phrase it, and talk together about what you should do about it. Obviously you are going to want to help with your child, but that's not a good enough reason to stay together as a couple. That's not a healthy example to set for a child, and it will be easier for everyone if you break up now rather than 5-10 years down the road.
Right now your life is in enough turmoil without adding another person into it. I would forget about another relationship until well after you have things sorted out with your present girlfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. i know what you are saying is right but it is just very difficult to come to terms with. i think that is probably what i wanted to hear. kind regards
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