A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I have to go overseas for college soon and even though me and my girlfriend love each other and want to stay together, she's afraid that I'll cheat on her while I'm at college even though I just want to make her happy.What should I do? How can I prove to her that I only ever will want her? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (24 March 2011):
She does need to develop more trust in you. You know you love her and that you are resolved to be faithful.
It is serious to her. So you can't trivialise her concerns. Though i am sorely temped to suggest you chew garlic daily, no one will want to stand near you, but maybe your girl friend will feel more secure.
Seriously your girlfriend has to work on her insecurities.
It is insulting to continually not be believed.
You are adamant that you will not be unfaithful. So she needs to believe you.
Of course you can remind her that you will be faithful only so many times before it becomes wearing.
So if she continues to doubt you, then all she will do is make herself distressed by something that is not going to happen.
Make a video of you and you speaking, telling her all the things you feel are special about her.
Leave it as a dvd for her to listen to on the first evening without you.
Try some creative ways to keep in touch so she focuses on, 'what will he come up with next?'
Skip the 'everyone does that' ways to stay in touch.
Go for a more romantic more permanent option
Get her a ring folder with acid free separations that will allow you to add more to it..
Hand Write and sign your first love letter and position at the front of the folder. Tell her how much you love her. And that you will send her little notes, love poems, drawings, longer love letters, occasional emails. Some snail mail letters.
Maybe a photo of where you are staying
Or where you are attending lectures.
She will be the keeper of the folder, keeping it all in one place, to look over.
And remind her that one day you and your girl friend will have your love story folder to share with your descendants
She might say, why don't you have an equivalent folder? You could, but it will eventually be heavy, and your things for Uni will be heavy.
One solution could be that anything she sends you, be written on one side only. Then you write your reply on the back of her letter.
That way there will be the correspondence from both sides in the folder. Love letters from the two parties are rarely saved together. Usually only letters from one party survive.
Encourage your girl friend to also take up
an absorbing hobby. Or volunteer where a group could really use her help.
You cannot stop her being insecure, and you both will miss each other very much. But this absence is only for a very short time in the scheme of things. Keep reminding her how much she means to you.
A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (24 March 2011):
I think every girl is afraid their partner is gonna cheat on them when they aren't with them, but you gotta have 100% trust. Phone her and text as much as you can. Try not to leave ur phone if you are going out (Trust me on that one)
Just sit her down and tell her to trust you. You don't want anyone else so why would you cheat?
I hope this helps
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