A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey so im going to get straight to the point. ive been with my girl for exactly 6 months in 2 days and im really worried because shes a compulsive liar to everyone, i didnt think it was to me until i found out her ex has been giving her hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars and shes spending time with him behind my back giving me the false name of a girl. i seen them point blank but never said anything until i felt either the time was right or i caught them red handed. i dont beleive shes f***ing him but its not right. i need advice badly. shes by far the best girl i've ever had and i care about her but im really really confused if i could get some advice. another thing i havent brought it up and cuz i already no the response its gunna be lies backed up with lies backed up with lies PLEASE HELP
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female
reader, MAIDinHeaven +, writes (13 October 2009):
she's by far the best girl you've ever had? Boy i admire your devotion but you have to really know the truth, because our life can't be lived based on a foundation of lies! Like why is it so crushing when somebody breaks a promise? You're not a disposable object so please stop acting like one! If you can't get the truth so you can make a decision, then make that decision now to walk away. It's painful at first but you gotta rip it out like a thorn in your foot. Or you will probably end up raising a kid who's not yours (coz she lied about it)Hope this helped! MIH
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 October 2009):
Well if she's got a mental illness you have 3 options:
1. You can leave. If you can't cope with her illness then it's not your fault. You're a boyfriend, not a carer or a nurse.
2. You can tell her you will leave if she doesn't get help. She needs to see a psychologist to get this sorted. You can help her through it but she needs to WANT to stop lying and WANT to get help. She'll have to work hard to get this fixed.
3. You can accept it and do nothing, but be stuck knowing everything she says is probably not true.
It's your choice, but personally I'd go for option 2. But you have to be prepared to walk away if she's not willing to work on it and stop seeing her ex and using him for money.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Hi
She needs to see a psychologist. It is not normal to lead a double life and much less to hurt all those that are closest to her. Also, you overestimated your worth in her eyes. If she can lie to her family (and by everyone, I think you mean her family) then she can lie to you. Now, if she is taking so much money from her ex, then it is plain that perhaps she too is using you for some reason. It is time you reassessed your standing in her life.
Anyway, it is not a normal behavior to compulsively lie and make her see a shrink. And, as for your well-being, I suggest that you try to emotionally detach yourself from this girl. Believe me, there are other better girls around and if she straightens up then you guys could start a friendship together. I want you to break things off with her because all these lies are going to give you a lot of emotional baggage and screw you up for the future. You don't need that, at all.
Best of Luck
Keep us posted
Love
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