A
male
age
41-50,
*ikeindc
writes:My girlfriend will work herself up into a hurricane of emotions when talking about anything work related. These conversations are completely one-sided. I try to add to the conversation or ask questions on the topic at hand to try to stay engaged but it's nearly always just her talking and me weathering the storm for 15-20 minutes. I actually get frustrated and upset too because I feel powerless in this situation. At restaurants it's embarrassing because her voice will get louder and louder and I don't know how to defuse these situations. It usually ends when she notices I'm glazed-over and expressionless. Then she'll make a back-handed comment that makes me feel like I don't care about her or whatever it was she was talking about. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): She's venting and there's nothing you can say or do that's going to change a thing. Just listen and be supportive.
I would recommend that you steer away from work related conversations when eating out, though :)
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 She must have a very stressful job, and is just using you as someone to vent to. You don't have to say anything, but you should, even if you have to pretend, show that you are interested. Just the occasional nod and noise. My husband and I will periodically have these work related conversations. Well, you can't really call it a conversation, as they are entirely one-sided. But we both find it therapeutic. I think you just need to show a little more support when she is having her 'talk'. I am sure that she will appreciate it. Maybe try to steer clear of work conversations in public, get it out of the way before you leave for the restaurant. Ask her about work at a time when it doesn't matter how emotional she gets. You will be the hero for showing that you care. Good luck.
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