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My girlfriend cheated, but her story and the guy's story are completely different

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok, so here's the deal. My girlfriend and I had been dating for 7 months, and we were both mostly happy with how things were going. We've had small trust issues here and there, mostly stemming from her texting other dudes quite a bit, claiming they were just friends. She is indeed the type of girl that has always had a lot of guy friends, though. Anyways, we lived together this summer and I was gone for 2 weeks. A month after I came back, I was told by a friend that she had cheated on me while I was away. I confronted her and she told me: 1. "What?", 2. "He might have raped me" and 3. she was "blackout drunk" and just remembers the guy coming onto her and making out for a while before she snapped out of it and left. (For the record, I talked to her on the phone that night and she was absolutely hammered). I even went to the lengths of talking to the guy that this happened with, promising to stay calm. He tells me a completely different story, which consisted of her completely coming onto him. He said the words out of her mouth were "I've always wanted to have sex with you". He said that they had sex and even before it happened he asked if she was sure she wanted to do this and she said yes. This guy has been in love with my girlfriend for a long time, and she had denied him multiple times before. He also has a history of allegedly taking advantage of drunk girls. My girlfriend and him have not talked since the incident. She claims she hates him, etc. I really did feel like our relationship was solid for the most part until this. So, either my girlfriend is completely lying, or this guy is making up an elaborate story to get back at my girlfriend for denying him, or to cover up that he took advantage of a drunk girl. Neither will budge on their side of the story, and there is no solid proof of anything. I still really love this girl and this situation really breaks my heart. Any suggestions?

View related questions: cheated on me, drunk, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks again. As far as how she reacted to the situation, there was initially quite a bit of fighting, defending herself, etc. Then, she was very obviously really upset for a long time. Her friends talked to me a couple times, saying she was saying she would do anything to get me back, and that they were sure she loved me a lot. It almost would be easier if she wanted nothing to do with me, but her being so sad about it and wanting me back makes it hard. ah!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi,

This is super late, but thank you so much for your response. It's been 3 months since we broke up and it still gets me down. Mostly because I have classes with her every day because we are in a small school. I still have feelings for her, I just think it would be hard to trust her. Also, it's quite a messy situation because of how many other people got involved. I'm not even sure anymore how I genuinely feel, because of so many other people's input. I almost feel like if me and her were to start over in a new environment, it could maybe work, but it just feels all screwed up here.

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