A
male
age
51-59,
*71
writes:My girlfriend and I live far apart and sometimes when I call her she makes jokes that I dont like too much.For example, I called her and said "Hey, what you up to?" and her reply was "I was just thinking about fooling around with my boss".I know that she knows that this gets to me, so what do I do? I try to ignore it and sometimes try to be witty back, but it really gets to me.
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female
reader, laurie-loo +, writes (1 June 2007):
 i know loads of girls who do that, they do it to simply get a reaction out of their boyfriends. i dont think shes trying to hurt or upset you, to be honest i dont even think she will realise its getting to you as much as it does. she will know it may make you paranoid and think but maybe she just likes the attention of you worrying and fussing over her. if shes been deprived of attention and love in the past maybe shes seeking it back from you now, wants to hear to getting annoyed and puzzled. or maybe she just says it all in joke. i really dont think she means it in any nasty way shape or form at all. but if its really getting to you i think you should talk to her about it and tell you how much it gets to you and thats it upsets you too. im sure she will understand :) good luck xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Agree with the other two comments. It also seems like she's getting something of an ego boost doing this - she knows you'll be hurt and confused and wondering why she says this sort of stuff. So it gives her power. Maybe you should speak to her about it and find out the root of the problem. If she doesn't change or doesn't explain what her problem is then take a break, so you can see whether she really wants to be with you and whether your relationship will work in the future. If that doesn't work then call it a day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): She is not worth it... Those jokes sound like the hurt --and aren't even that funny.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (31 May 2007):
 Hello R71,
I have to agree with DV1 here. What on earth would be her point of saying something like that? Just to be obnoxious or to really try and hurt/irritate you. If you've told her how you feel and she keeps joking about getting it on with other people, then I wouldn't think twice about breaking it off with her. That's totally disrespectful on her end. Do you really think that you'll be able to deal with this for much longer? Maybe if you two even were to take a break, it would make her realize that she needs to stop acting like a jerk. No "jokes" would be worth sacrificing an otherwise good relationship, and if she really cares about you then she'll stop.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (31 May 2007):
 It sounds like she's trying to hurt you, or get you angry. That's not a joke - it's a hurtful remark, intended to create problems. After comments like that, she's not even worth your time.
DV1
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): your girlfriend is only making these comments as she is insecure, being apart is difficult, perhapd if you told her that you missed her or just opened up about your feelings she would not feel the need to make you jealous. Also let her know that you dont find these jokes funny, being told straight out will open up the issue for conversation and it may be quickly resolved.try it, if it doesnt work you can go back to the way ye are now.good luck
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