A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, recently my girlfriend of almost 2 years have broken up (1 year 11 months). I ended the relationship a few days ago because we have been having so many little fights that it's not enjoyable to spend time together. Immediately after I realized how big of a mistake this was. I feel like these small fights can be solved and prevented before they start if we both try hard enough. I have talked with her on the phone a lot. She is not sure what she wants. She is trying to figure out if she truly wants to be in this relationship or she is just trying to fill a void. This has happened with us before and she has decided to come back. She feels that I'm trying very hard to keep it going but she isn't. I feel like maybe this is a sign that she subconsciously doesn't want to be with me, she agrees. Is there anyway to help tell if you actually want to be in the relationship or not? I know I do very much, but this is for her sake. Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Dear Poster
I understand that you want to make this relationship work and that you are prepared to make an effort to try and work things out; but it does take two to "tango"; unfortunately she will have to be committed to this too.
If she is not sure it might be good that you have this "trial" separation to give her time to sort out her own emotions and feelings.
I suggest you discuss this with her; reassure her of your feelings and when she knows what she wants you can either try again or call it quits and MOVE ON.
Stop contacting her and give her time to miss you and to take stock of the situation. Maybe when she is missing you she will be able to realize how much you mean to her and how she wants to share life with you.
She could consult with a counselor who might be able to help her to get more perspective on her needs and wants; but I do believe that she will be able to make that decision much easier if you stop contact for a while.
It will be difficult for you, but at least that way you will be able to get to a point of moving FORWARD or moving ON.
If you love her as much as you say; give her some space and time.The old saying: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"!Why not put it to the test?
Hope this is of assistance.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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