A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: i have been dating the girl in the apartment upstairs since early summer. the attraction was unbelievable for months....when the holidays came around...just before thanksgiving she became distant...come to find out...she is missing her former boyfriend....the didn't split on bad terms...he had some issues to take care of. i am madly in love with her and i don't want to lose her....i think she may end up going back to him...the thought of losing her is ripping me up inside and she knows that....she is as confused as I am.....please help
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female
reader, messedupfemale +, writes (18 January 2009):
Hey I have recently gone through this, it is terribly hard when it comes to ex's. All these feelings come up again that you have tried to suppress and you cant seem to cope. My ex boyfriend finished with me due to him having too much pride and stubborness through some hard times. I moved on, met someone else, dealt with it, but was rock bottom and broken hearted. Then my ex came back into my life 6 months later and turned my whole life upside down. I had moved and and met someone else who I was very happy with, but as soon as my ex got back in touch all I could do was think about him and what could have been and SHOULD have been. I could cope believing that the ex didnt love me or he wouldnt have walked away, but as soon as he came back and said he loved me, I was a mess. I ended up finishing with my boyfriend to go back to him. BUT, he showed his true colours and I soon took off the rose tinted specs I was wearing, he isn't right for me, he is selfish, he didnt stick by me through the hard times when I needed him most. I got back together with the second boyfriend after realising this, and lucky for me, he gave me a second chance as he understood that I couldnt help my feelings for my ex. Unlike my ex, my current boyfriend DID fight for me and would do anything to keep me in his life, even through these hard times. As for your situation, just stand by her, even if she does go back to her ex, chances are she will realise over time that it was a mistake amd want you back. However, you should not wait for her and give yourself a chance to move on. Just take each day as it comes and make it clear that you love her and tell her that you are not happy if she goes back to her ex, but you want her to be happy. I hope she does realise her love for you, but if she doesnt then it was not meant to be.
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