A
male
age
51-59,
*eighbour
writes:Early into my relationship, my gf told me she'd had a 'one night' encounter a few weeks before I met her which was "a big mistake". She told me it involved 'party', 'drink', and explained "it meant nothing". I did not know who the guy was. I tried to forget about it but couldn't.Like others writing here, the "it meant nothing" made it so much worse and it bothered me and still does. I have no problems with past serious boyfriends, partly because their circumstances were not 'one night' but mainly I'm sure because I don't have to meet them (read on...).The bombshell came when after a few weeks I asked for reassurance that the guy was someone who is no longer around and I would not have to meet. I'm sure that pride is an issue here. I was eventually told 'it was the guy next door' (her door not mine).I hate seeing the guy (a loner who never appears to leave his house or have visitors) and even hate seeing the same make and model of the car he drives. 10 months on and I've only seen him in situations in which 'ordinary neighbours' would say hi about 3 times and I've done my best to act normal and said 'hi' myself. It seems he is as keen to avoid me as I am him.My gf moving house would solve this overnight, but this is something I can't ask. She wants to forget the incident (it is not a big deal to her) and (understandably) doesn't want to talk about it. I bottle up my feelings and know this is not good for me.Any advice please???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): have you ever walked past a girl you have been in the same situation with when she's with her now partner? I have. I dont think of it as anything. I understand what you are saying but dont spoil something good. You may never find it again.
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