A
male
age
30-35,
*ughesy28
writes:I am 17 and my girlfriend is 16, the other nite we went to my m8s party. It was all goin gud until i sat down and saw my girlfriend kiss another guy right in front of me!! even though im not the type to start fights, i went over and started one. After this happened, she was cryin and sayin that she didnt kiss him and pushed him away saying that she was with me. I knew she was lying, the day after this happened i rang the guy she kissed and he said she asked him his name and wat he had done that day and then started kissing. She was drunk on the nite saying that she didnt kiss him, it was my m8 which it wasnt and that she thought it was me she was kissing at first. im so confused!? Ive always said that i would dump her if she cheated on me but i love her so much and we have been together for 5 1/2 months nw. Wat should i do??? Any advice???
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cheated on me, drunk, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, keiran19 +, writes (24 March 2008):
hey ther,
jus wondering how fings are goin wiv your girlf, u stil wiv her? hows it going?
im stil with mine and we are so happy, and were expecting baby in 4 months!
stupid mistakes can be worked out and our relationship has proved it, honestly i think it has made us stronger.
hope your well and happy
kieran
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Dear Hughesy28
You are following your heart and I wish you all the best.
The way I see it, advice is only guidance and like a gift, once given to you, it yours to do as you wish.
At the end of the day, it is your decision that matters.
I hope it works out for you.
Good luck xxx
Angel of Love
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A
male
reader, Hughesy28 +, writes (19 January 2007):
Hughesy28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, thanks for all the replies to my question. They wer all helpful, wel mayb apart from the one about keeping ur nose out and getting sum fresh air lol. I have now made my mind up and have got back with her bcoz i love her so much and feel that it really was an honest mistake on her part. I always said that i wouldn't give any1 a second chance but i changed my mind bcoz of my love for her and that i think it could work out. For those of u that think i'm doing a stupid thing, you mayb right and i have thought about that alot but i want to take a chance this time and see if i was right to do so. This time i have followed my heart instead of my head, i just hope i was right :). Thanx
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (19 January 2007):
To the previous Anon that left last comment:
Sounds like you need more of a break and fresh air yourself, this site if for people who need or want advice.
If you do not agree with comments what are you doing on this site?
Chill out!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): well i think u should trust her becayse she never dun this to anyone nd she nver loved anyone like she loves you! and it was a drunken mistake we all dun then be4 soooooooo look i think that u shuld sort it wid er ur self or lose her cuz she culd break a lot of boys hearts..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): hello .
i would just like to add, that none of u actually know this girl, therfore u should keep out of it and get off ur computers and go outside and get some fresh air into ur system, it might do u some good!
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A
male
reader, shaun +, writes (19 January 2007):
so she kissed him wen she was drunk, the fact that she tryed to tell you she thought it was you shows that she knows it was a big mistake. she didnt do anything else, becos you never gave them the chance, which should make it easier to sort out, yes she cheated but at least you can say you stopped her sleepin with him. if she was drunk, and cant remeber chances are that she never would have wanted to sleep with him, though it cud of happened. Only advica i can give you is to talk with her alone, away from any mates. find out how she feels, you will know if she means it. At the end of the day, listen to your heart and not your head! your heart always means more in these situations.
good luck mate!
shaun
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A
male
reader, kieran19 +, writes (19 January 2007):
listen mate, i no how you feel. my girlfriend did the same sort of thing to me. At my m8s wedding party, she was drunk nd snogged my m8. i was gutted. she sed she didnt remember it, at first i didnt believe her.But i saw how upset she was and how sorry she was, i jus knew she meant it. at first it was really hard, but after a while it gets easier, im glad i forgive her mistake because we've been together another 8 1/2 months nw, nd were still going strong. i really loved her jus like you love your girlfriend, and it was that love that allowed me to forgive her. follow your heart mate, it will take you to the right place-with her.
hope this helps you and good luck sorting things out
kieran
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A
female
reader, claire221 +, writes (19 January 2007):
i feel so sorry for you. im guessin that you are pretty gutted right now. you obviously love her enough not to have finished it there and then, so you really need to take her to one side and have a serious talk. second chances should only be given to those who are truly sorry, if she says she is to your face, looks you in the eye when she says it, then she means it. if she is only 16 then why was she that drunk? maybe thats a issue that needs to be dealt with too.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, kaci +, writes (19 January 2007):
That is a really low thing to do! Wat was she thinking? relationships can be really tough, but if you havent finished it already then you must really love her. speak to her face to face and if she really loves you back, then you'll know, nd if she really means she's sorry then you'll know that to. Try to work things out, see wat happens, if it doesn't work out then finish it, but love like you have is worth everything, and if it is strong as you say it is, then you need to fight for it.
hope this helps x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): I'm sorry she did that to u I really am! Relationships are about, trust, honesty, and obviously she doesnt understand that, look she does not deserve ur sweet luv, I swear she doesnt, find a girl who really deserves ur luv!!!!!!! :)t
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (19 January 2007):
First she pushed him away, then she said she thought it was you?
How much more punishment do you need? Not only this girl has cheated on you but rub your nose in it.
The sooner you can dump her the sooner you can move on and find a nice girl that deserve the love you waste on this tramp!
It will be very painful at first to let go but try to be strong and be happy.
Lots of hugs x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): those who blame it on drink are worse than those who are honest,
mate if she can do it right in front of you and still lie about it straight to your face she obviously has no respecta t all for you or your relationship... ditch her, and ditch her well so it makes her really suffer infront of her mates :)
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 I think u should leave her and concentrate on having fun u'r too young to be nervous about such and idiotthing which may seem important now but believe me it isnt u'll find another nice pretty girl who respects u soon
love
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Well firstly I'd like to say well done on not taking crap from some other guy. Secondly, your age says 16-17 so I'd say you're pretty young to be thinking of anything so long term right now. You always told her you'd break up if she cheated on you, so follow through on it. You'll find someone else, someone who doesn't just run off to some other guy when her bf's out of sight at a party! The crazy thing is, she's actually sticking by her lame ass excuse, totally insulting your intelligence there!
Sorry if you find my message a little tough or something, I have a really anti-cheating stance
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A
female
reader, emily91 +, writes (18 January 2007):
hey,
Wat she has done to you is really bad, especially that she lied to you. has she ever done anything like this before? i think the drink could be a factor, if she cant take it, stil doesn't make it acceptable though. if u love her as much as u say u do, then you shud be able to work things out. that's the question you've gt 2 ask yourself. Do u love her enough to save wat you have and give her a second chance?
Really hope this helps and that things work out for the best
Emily
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): Sometimes things like this can happen in life and you have two choices.
1. Give up and lose something special
2. Be brave and give it another try.
by the sounds of it you really love her, and im sure she loves you just the same. People always say 'being drunk is a crap excuse'. But sometimes, you can lose your way, and have that extra drink and do something you regret. But that at the end of the day is all it is. 'something stupid'.
You need to ask her how she really feels about it. Maybe she meant it. but maybe, she had no clue what she was doing, and is gutted at what she did.
Ask her if she is sorry. if she truly is, you will be able to tell. If she isn't, do what you think is best. Just remember that trust is something that can be gained back by just a little work. But if she is worth it, what are you waiting for!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (18 January 2007):
 it seems to me that she was making excuses, when people drink it only impares them by indulging in things they wouldnt do when sober, ie doing silly things (impulses), does this mean she may do it again when drunk?..i believe sometimes a second chance should be given, but you have to make sure that they are dedicated and willing to sort things out and that they have to prove to you that they will be faithfull, after she been lying do you think you could trust her ? youve got 2 options
A) get rid of her for being a cheat and a liar
B)tell her that she has to prove herself to you as the trust has now gone, and that if she does it again their wont be another chance..
thats youre options but listen to youre heart and mind, what does it tell you too do?
sorry if this doesnt help all the best xxxx A
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A
female
reader, zoemachin1989 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Hey, i'm sorry but even if your drunk you dont "mistake" your boyfriend. When your drunk it brings out your true colours. i know it must be hard become you love her but would you rather be with a girl you could trust and care about or a girl you love but cant trust?
If i was in your situation i would get out of it whilst i can. if you forgive her then she will start thinking she can make a habbit of this.
Hope i've helped and you do the right thing!
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