A
female
age
22-25,
*hatgirllol
writes:First off I know I'm young, I'm almost 15 and my gf will be 16 next week. She's two grades higher but only a year older her family wouldn't support it so it's a secret relationship.We've been friends for almost 5 years and she's also my neighbor. She's my best friend and I love her more than anything in the world (as a friend/gf) We have always acted like a couple before we even knew we liked eachother we would hold hand and give eachother pecks on the lips and cuddle once in a while. But we've been dating for a little over a month and she's dropping hits she wants an ACTUAL kiss not just a peck on the lips. And honestly I don't know what to do! I'm a very anxious, shy, depressed person! I'm not very sexual, I've never liked kiss-kissed either gender. I've pecked on the lips(my gf) but that's it. I'm to nervous I'll be bad or mess up some how! What do I do?! PLEASE HELP
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2016): Wait until you feel the time is right. just let it come naturally. it feels so good when it's at the exact right moment. ... Have a small moment with her before you kiss her. Try making a romantic compliment before you go in for the kiss. Just say, "Your eyes drive me crazy" or "You look so beautiful tonight." Lean closer to her while you are having that small moment and when you are very close, look at her lips, then at her, then at her lips, making your intention noticeable and then light press your lips against hers and if she just stays there doing nothing, do it again. She should then naturally kiss you back.No one's perfect at kissing the first time they try it. Don't worry, though. Your kissing partner will be nervous, too, even if it's not their first kiss. And if you both like each other, what happens during the first kiss won't matter: you'll still share lots more kisses in the future. For the first time kiss go to some special or memorable.... don't pick some cheap grungy old spot. You want your first kiss to be memorable. Go somewhere ... personal. A place where whenever you go there, you will think of the kiss. Kisses don't go on and on forever like they do in the movies. In the real world, you have to come up for air. Kissing isn't a distance race; there's nothing wrong with a first kiss that's short, sweet and leaves them dying for more.The best time to kiss a date or a friend is when you’ve spent quite a while with each other because that gives both of you enough time to warm up towards each other. And most importantly, you need to find a way to get some alone time with no one around. Your date must want to kiss you back, or at the least, you must know that your date would reciprocate it before you try kissing. Try to be close to your date. The way you touch your new date while trying to cozy up with them makes all the difference in a perfect first kiss. Constantly touch your date on their arms or play with their fingers. Let your date feel comfortable with your touch, and even like it. Once you start kissing your date for the first time, don’t get carried away and get aggressive instantly. Feel your date’s lips softly touch your own and spend a few seconds trying to understand who takes the upper lip or who takes the lower lip. Once you’ve got your lips busy, what do you do with your hands? For starters, place your hands on the sides or the back of your kissing mate. If you want to turn the passion on, you can run one hand through your date’s hair or move it along the neck.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 You need to tell you parents; they're more likely to learn to trust you when you're being open and honest, not when they find out you've been hiding it from them.
As for her, she has to tell her mum. Legally, there's a lot in place to stop him kicking her out yet and her mother is incredibly unlikely to allow it. Therefore, she needs to tell her mum. She has to, OP. She needs to have a private, heart-to-heart chat with her mum and own up to her feelings. Hiding it from *one* disapproving parent (when you have at least 2 parents available) is poor judgement. If one is open to accepting it, they should definitely be told (and their rules followed). If both disapprove, they should either be told (and their rules followed) or not be told and there not to be a relationship.
Your parents and her mum need to know; if you want to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 I can understand why you both want to hide this. Her dad sounds like he is set in his ways, it is sad that even now there are people who will not accept a person for who they are, its awful. Yes it must be awful for your girlfriend to have to deal with her father if he is against who she is, but maybe she can talk to her mum, just so that one of her parents know about it, and then see how it goes from there. I would advice you to talk to your mum as well, it is issues like this when we need our parents the most to guide us.
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A
female
reader, Thatgirllol +, writes (24 August 2016):
Thatgirllol is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know and I agree with you. I've never dated anyone and I didn't really want to but I really wanted to be with her and she felt the same way towards me. I want to tell my parents, I know they would be accepting of it just they would take things to a whole new level. I would not be able to be alone with her, even though we WONT do anything.
Her dad wouldn't accept it at all. If she told him she likes girls too he would kick her out of the house. I don't think her mom would really care, but her dad is VERY religious...
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 August 2016):
I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to start with things you don't want to hear: secret relationships are not okay.If she'd get in trouble with her parents, you shouldn't be together because it puts her at risk. When she's no longer dependent on them, it's fine to date her (they still need to know), but going behind their backs will be worse for her because they won't trust her any more.As for kissing, it will come naturally. You start with a peck and it just lasts a little longer. Hopefully nobody would expect you to go straight from pecks to making out.Anyway, OP, I really can't stress how bad it is to have a secret relationship. Safety-wise, if anything happened, the police always need to know if there's a boyfriend/girlfriend and you can't drop it on her parents then. Also, because she's a minor and depends on them, she needs to follow their rules. If they may accept it, she should tell them and you can be together, *if* they're okay with it. If she knows they really wouldn't, you can't be together or act like a couple until she can tell them.Relationships are for mature, responsible people and you need to be those things right now by choosing to do the right thing and either tell her parents (and not be a couple if they say so) or not be a couple until she can move out and support herself.If you go against this, your parents should know, at the very least - for safety reasons.
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