A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im 27 and my girl is 26 I have a problem because she is always at work and never have time for me. she would come home and she would ask me to cuddle with her. I told her she knows i cant do that because i like to have sex everyday and she dont want it at all what can i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): All you can do is talk to her and try and work it out.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 I have to agree with alot of the people here. You cant expect sex everyday in a relationship. Poeple have different sex drive levels. For you to turn down her offer of a cuddle is only pushing her further away. Women like to be held and pampered, and its not always about sex.
By talking to her and listening you may gain some insight into her feelings and her desires. If you cant do that, then your with the wrong girl.
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A
male
reader, ukmatt +, writes (11 April 2007):
 I think some of these replies have been a little harsh to you. I recall one saying you don't need sex, but rather, you want it. I think what is important here is to sit back and evaluate your relationship (objectively of course!). Holistically evaluate your relationship. The fact that she is your Girlfriend, and that you have both chosen to commit to each other in some way, says a lot. There is obviously a bond that is keeping you together, albeit, one that appears to be overshadowed by your apparent lack of sexual intimacy. Could it be that her perpetual presence at work and her not having sex with you be clouding your vision, or causing you to exaggerate the situation slightly? There must be logical explanations for her required presence at work all of the time, be it fiscal, pressures at work, deadlines to meet, or simply, a feeling ill at east at the prospect of being pressured into daily sexual encounters with you. Each person is unique, and you need to empathise with your girlfriend. Her actions are as such for a reason, and I think effective communication needs to be taking place so that you talk through your concerns with her. Secondly, it may be worth you analysing why you were attracted to her. Be honest with yourself. Was it a superificial fancy, was it a sharing of same interests or something else. Do not misunderstand me, for many, sex is an important part of a relationship, but it is also worth noting that for others, gestures such as 'cuddling', and spending quality time together are more important that the physical act of having sex. I think it would be a dangerous scenario if you viewed your girlfriend as a mere 'quencher of your cravings'; Indeed, each and everyone of us have cravings, be they chocolate, caffeine, or in your case, sex. Just keep in mind though that your girlfriend is neither a bar of chocolate nor a cup of coffee; She is the personal that you feel something for, who has feelings that will get hurt if you continue persuing this, what could be regarded as 'juvenile' or 'immature' attitude in regards to your girlfriend. To conclude, I'd advise you to talk to her about your obvious frustrations at the lack of physicality in your relationship. It may be that you are not as compatible as you first thought because of this significant division of interests. Either way, your psychosocial integrity relies upon this important conversation that needs to be had with your partner, before things get out of hand, and you both get hurt without need.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): how selfish you are,and you dont need sex everyday,you want sex everyday,but unfortunately your girlfriend aint as highly sexed as you,how come you dont want to just have a cuddle to feel loved,appreciated and wanted or is it just sex you want?if it is why are you even in a relationship talk to your girlfriend and try to find a solution before you start resenting her
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (11 April 2007):
 Have you thought about putting her needs first rather than your own ?
Perhaps she stays at work so thats she not pressured to have sex!?
Perhaps she needs to stay at work for either money reason, or the job demands that she does ?
Perhaps you could start by being a bit more sympathetic to the fact that she needs to work for whatever reason and when she comes home she would like a show of affection from you to show you care about her, not just a service she can provide for you!
I think you need to start treating her as a person, rather than a sex machine.... You dont say much else in your post so Im not sure if you have had sex, and she just bluntly refuses now, or shes abstaining until shes ready ?
Did the sex drift because of her job ? Is she stressed ? Do you show her any affection at all ? Any support ?
How long have you been together ? Do you work ? Are you compatible in other aspects of your relationship ?
If she thinks you dont care and all you want is your leg over and your not showing her any affectiion then she will be inclined to stay at work I know I would!
Remember she is a person, not a play thing for you. Show some respect and you will get some back, try talking to her, finding out about her, why shes at work all the time, and what you can do to make her feel good, then maybe things will change.... But until then im afraid your attitude is pretty selfish, whether you mean it to be or thats the way it comes accross Im not sure. But either way, you need to make her feel special and important for other areas of this relationship to work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): Wanting to have sex every day is too much for her and having no sex at all is too little for you. Ask her why she doesn't want to have any sex at all. I know that she works a lot but she should cut her work life down a bit so that she can spend some quality time with you. Sex everyday isn't a good idea, it looks as if you are using her for just sex. So if you really want a relationship with her and not one based on just sex then cut your expectations of the amount of sex down and make a comprimise with her, otherwise this relationship isn't going to work.
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