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male
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*angermouse
writes: Hi,I have been seeing my girlfriend now for 6 months and I really love her, however about a month and a half into the relationship she cheated on me when I went away for a week. She promised never to do this again and I do believe her but I cannot get it out of my head sometimes and when I still think about it, it annoys me! I know its my own pride at stake but I could do with some advice how to deal with this in a sensible manner from someone who might have been through the same. I get stupid urges to get revenge on her but I know this is not the right answer. Also the feeling when she did it was awful and do not want that feeling again!!
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (14 January 2006):
 Well i would say the first thing is to give yourself time to get over this. It is only natural that it will take time before your trust is fully restored and beating yourself up over it will aggrevate how you are feeling. You are right to resisit the urges to revenge as they will just perpetuate a viscious circle. I am wondering if you worry about it more when you are apart or you know she is out but not with you? Maybe what we are talking here is your fear of it happening again.
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