A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK.80 year old grandmohter who is attention seeking but guilt tripping everyone in the family, along with countless trips to the doctors and hospitals, numerious test and they've found nothing.At one point its " ooo i feel like i'm dying.."we leave her house as we have to go to work.. the lady next door will go visit and she's up, cleaning and cooking and theres no pain, no problem.Does she have an illness? well she's 80 if she didn't i would be surprised.She is continually saying how she hates the little village she lives in which has little to no crime, its quiet and peaceful here and she sees loads of people and has friends visit often.always telling us how she "wishes she was dead" and so on.she even came out of the doctors once and told me she had cancer.( which she doesn't )I see what she's doing is Attention seeking. but faking illness ( she does have to take pills... sadly she'll take one and say "oh it didn't work" and wonders why)Controlling her pills only works to a point as we have to work and live as well.After searching the net i can't find any advice on dealing with attention seekers in Adults or the Elderly.Sitting down a talking to her about it makes her defensive or she just looks off into space and ignores the issue.She is my grand Mother and i do love her but she is ripping the family apart and destroying my mothers metal state.Help
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe used to take her to a .. i guess you could call it a day group however she refuses to go on her own. ie : one of us has to be there.. and of course we do have to work. last time we did she was blunt and rude to most of the other people there. so of course none of them want to really chat with her because she's bitter. ( we also get a a large brunt of this as well )
closer friends do go and visit her almost daily but she always protests about how she hasn't seen anyone in days and how she's been sitting alone.
couple of weeks back she was in hospital having test done. myself and my mum went down there 6 days in a row. the 7th mum was ill and on the 8th i went down to pick her up. on arriving back to her house a freind came round to see her. so i said my good byes and left them to it.
got to the car and noticed she left her bag in the back.. took it in and she was telling her friend about how we didn't bother to even go visit her...
theres only so much compassion a person can have. we even had her friend Lynn come over and tell us that we really need to start taking better car of her... course i took her aside and set it straight.. and recently she found out just what my nan is really like.
she had hoobies, we used to make china dolls but, and as she put it " i can't be bothered anymore"
i know we can't change her but i need to find help on how to make our lives easier with the attention seeking.
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