A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and this girl have been dating for about a month.Everything was going great.She really seemed happy and interested in our relationshit...so i though..... all of a sudden one day she sent me a text saying she thinks its best if we just be friends,that she is too busy and dosent think she can handle a boyfriend right know but she still really wants to hang out and be friends(as of this writing weve been broken up for a little over 2 weeks)...When I read that text I was absolutely torn.I really liked this girl Alot.We talked for 2 days after (text message).Then on day 3 I sent her a text and she totally ignored me.So the next day I tried calling her...she didnt answer and never returned my call.Then a couple days later I sent her a text asking her why she was ignoring me..but she never replied.About a week ago my friend saw her and told her off but not in a very nice way.When he told me about it i sent her a message saying i had nothing to do with my friend saying hurtful things.She actually repplied and put "I know u didnt".Then I sent one saying but anyway how are things going..but once again she ignored me.So about 2 days ago i sent her a message saying that I think she played me and draged it on when there was nothing there.Why do you think she is ignoring me?I never did anything wrong and I was very good to her.She puts up this emotional wall so it really hard to tell what she is thinking..shes not a very open person.Does it sound like she played me? Im really confused and I just want answers..Can anyone give me opinions on why shed do this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): I was in the same situation with a girl not too long ago, we dated for about 4 months then one day we were supposed to have dinner together one night and she sends me a text saying that she can't make it and doesn't want to see me. I thought things were going great, she wasn't the very open kind of girl type, and her insecurity made her break up with me by text.
you may never know the reason why she dumped you. For example the girl I dated dumped me because she hadn't gotten over her previous BF and he was sending her texts all throughout the time we were together. She confessed it to me after denying she was talking to any other guys besides me.
They break up by texts, because they know they'll lose any argument they get into. they can't bear to look at you in the eye, because they're insecure. that's not what I need in my life and certainly you don't need that in your life do you? there's plenty of fish in the sea.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (21 June 2009):
 Hi,
it seems from what you've written this girl was just not that into you, she's moved on.
Ive done a similar thing with a guy (not to be the baddy here) buti think she did the right thing by calling it a day and not dragging the relationship on & what didnt feel right for her.
Why did she ignore your texts? becoz she isnt into you, she's under no obligation to reply.
as for you being nice to her i am sure you was a nice bf, but its got nothing to do with how you was towards her, more like she has her own issues which she needs space for.
Respect that & move on, if she contacts you sure be friends, but if not just be sure it wasnt anything you did.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): It sounds to me like she just decided that she didn't want to be in a relationship after all. Why? I don't know. Maybe there were things in the relationship bothering her. But if, like you said, everything seemed fine, then maybe she just doesn't feel ready to commit to anyone yet.
She was honest with you though, which is a good thing. But I think it is unfair of her to say she wants to remain friends, and then ignore you. You must be confused about that.
All I can think is that she maybe said "lets remain friends" as a way of softening the blow, of trying to make you feel better. She might not really want to stay in contact.
My suggestion would be to just stop texting her. If you carry on, she might feel like you are pestering her, and that will put her off replying.
If you give her some space and distance, she might contact you after a while. If not though, then I'm afraid it will probably mean that she doesn't want any more contact at all. Don't let this experience put you off future relationships though. Some relationships just don't work out, and it's not necessarily anyones fault. So don't blame yourself for anything. x
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