A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Hello, this question isn't really about me its about my friend who i am very concerned about.So.. my friend has a very protective family, she's 15, and will be 16 in a few months. She has a big family, she lives with her mum, dad, two sisters older sister is now 11 youngest is 1 and two brothers oldest is 14 and youngest is 12. Neither of her parents work, they are on benefits. She has to travel 5 miles to get to school every morning, on two busses.Anyway so bacicly she is not allowed to do anything at all! Its mainly her dad, shes not alowed to sleep at friends houses, go out with her friends, see her freinds out of school, her parents even keep her off sometimes just to look after her youngest sister. Your attendance has to be a certain amount to go to prom and her attendance is never going to be high enough because her parents keep her off for the smallest thing. So that will be another thing she can't do, in my opinion they are bacicly ruining her life! They dont care at all about her education. She's not alowed to be with boys, hug them or anything if her dad found out she had hugged a boy or even texted a boy he would go mental. Once she liked a boy called Hayden, and she text him to ask him out (obviously keeping it from her family) and accidently sent it to her dad, then he started giving her death threts saying she doesn't deserve to be alive calling her horrible names. just because she had asked out a boy. Anyway my birhtday has just gone and i invited her not expecting her to be able to come but luckily she was with alot of begging her dad, her dad had to walk with her to the resturant tho to make sure there were no boys (even tho there was there was my boyfriend another one of my friends boyfriends and a boy she liked). So we had to make sure the boys wern't with us when we met her and we went to meet them when her dad had left. Anyway the boy who she liked, liked her back and they started going out, hiding it from her dad and family again. then when she got home she updated her relationship status on facebook (her dad does not have facebook and neither do the rest of her family, her dad doesnt know she has facebook she uses her phone. Then somone text her and it said "hey who do you go out with? Im really happy for you" her dad saw it and went crazy and started caling her names realy bad names which i wont say but you can imagine. Her brothers and sisters started hitting her and calling her names too, and her mum none of her family are talking to her so, when they hit her she defended herself and her dad grabbed her and threw her into the fire place. I told her she needs to tell somone, but she won't she said its her family its not my decison to make its hers, but i realy dont find it fair she is old enough to have a boyfriend, she was so upset. What can i do? Or what can she do? Do you agree with her family?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): It sounds like she is coming from abusive family but there are people you can always talk to for you concern for her they are trying to control her by the sounds of things parents can be protective but only to a certain level and they should be making sure she gets her education its the law and if she has to much time out the parents can get into a lot of trouble for it to be honest with you i think her parents are lazy and they should get off there ass and get a job take care of there kids them self and not exspecting her to do it and if there hitting her then that is abuse have you talked to a teacher about it they can check into it
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