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female
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anonymous
writes: Recently i gave my friend head three times and we kept it a secret.I really like him, hes very good looking but thats not just why. hes also my friends ex, so that wasnt good.any way it all came out this week, and im so imbarrased because ive lost all respect from all my boy friends.it was the biggest regret, and now i dont no what to do.i no i shouldnt have done it, but im so upset with the things people are saying to me.im normally a realy strong person and what people say about me doesnt ever bother me.but i no im in the wrong so it upsets me,i dont no how to stay strong because im falling apart.my friends are like come give me head, or start touching me, or those i havnt seen in a while are inviting me over.and im like NO! im not like that, but ive given off the worst rep! HELPX Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): wow embarrasing. well, i can imagine how you feel, but it WILL blow over. Just to tell you some men don't forget this kind of thing, not trying to discourage you though, but its natural. It will become "not a big deal" as you get older.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): Giving a friend head three times? Hmmm? Why would you do that if he's just a friend? I hope you learned your lesson and hope you think twice about doing something like that.
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male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 You say "it all came out this week". Somebody had to spill the beans. If you didn't leak it, that leaves one other person that knew about. . . your "friend", the recipient of your oral skills. Some friend, eh?
I suggest you find some new friends and avoid your rude ones.
Good luck!
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Ok well I'm glad you have learned your lesson from this and I hope you don't do anything like this again. Right...are all your friends male? Do you only have one group of friends that you hang out with? Until this dies down (which it will) you're going to have to stop hanging around them for a while and just do your own thing. Don't beat yourself up about this because everyone has secrets and everyone has done things in the past that they regret now. And you're not a bad person or any of the other names people might call you. Do you know why? Because you have learned your lesson from this and you don't do that sort of thing anymore. If you still do those things and if you have no regrets for the wrong actions you have done then that would be a different story.
I doubt that these 'friends' of yours have your best interest at heart because real friends would not start disrespecting you in this way (touching you when it's inappropriate)or just being plain rude to you. I do understand that they are disappointed with your actions but they are really not helping by insulting you. Avoid them for a while and carry on as you normally do, hold your head up high and make your way through. They will get over it and in time things will go back to normal. When you hear people say hurtful things about you don't let it get to you because you know you are better than that and what they say is not true.
In future, if you know something you're doing will not reflect well on you, don't do it. If it will cause you embarrassment if people found out, don't do it. If people will lose respect for you if they find out, don't do it. Always think of that before you do anything similar to this in the future and you will have no regrets. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): Well, the first thing to do without falling apart is not to believe what any one says about you and their approval is not needed or required.
However, I am more concerned about why you would give a "friend" a bj 3 times, when he has given you nothing in return....like a date or sex or anything.
What are you thinking, so what if he is good looking, doing that will only make him lose respect for you, not fall in love or even in like with you.
I find it very distressing that so many young girls today think nothing of performing sexual favors and seducing boys for a false sense of power and control.
This really is disgusting, and degrading, and not what your forebearers fought so hard in society to achieve for women. This is not equal rights, honey, it is debasing your very humanity to lower yourself to the status of a slave whore nota prostitute as you did not get paid for your services, I don't know which is worse.
I know this is harsh and not what you wanted to hear, but your friends are trying to tell you something, your behavior is out of control and really not cool.
It is going to take you a long time to live this down, so start by not doing that again, gather up your dignity and self respect and go on down the road. Find some new friends if you have to.
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A
female
reader, charly16 +, writes (6 March 2007):
That was stupid!
U shud keep ur friends close now that u need them. You cant help it that u like each other and theres no reason why other people shud see it as such a acrime. Trust your friends cos I know from experience that they are the best people at getting u through times like these.
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