A
female
 ,
*strid
writes: My best friend isa doctor and she works a long time everyday, she earns a lot of money and has a little daughter and a civil servant husband, Her husband is very nice and takes care of the little girl but one night he was unfaithful and passed his wife a non problematic but disgusting STD. She forgave him after lots of quarreling and promised to work less to try the situation improving, she had started to chat on the internet and has only on line affairs and has had proposals from colleagues to cheat on her husband, she has thought about revenge and feels curiosity about it and about how her life could be if she divorced, she asks me for advice and I think she has a lovely family life but for her husband's past mistake. Am I wrong not to encourage her to cheat?thenks for your opinion
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affair, best friend, divorce, money, revenge, std, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 October 2006):
 You always encourage the couple to work things out. Unless there is an issue of violence and abuse, help people stay together. If you encourage her to cheat, then she will do the same to you if you are ever in that situation.
If you encourage her to cheat and she gets life threatening STD, or pregnant, or has to get an abortion, how do you think she will react to the next great advice you give? How do you think you will feel if she dies from AIDS if you encouraged her to catch it?
If you were in that situation...what would you want someone to encourage you to do?
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (25 October 2006):
Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question yeah I told her NOT to cheat as her marriage has worked very well till now and maybe he just slept around one night, I understand her feeling offended and down and that other men showing interest in her help her to feel better at this point however if she did cheat I wouldn't take the piss on her as I know she's psychologically confused
thanks a lot
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): i think you're saying that you're encouraging her NOT to cheat? am i right? anyway, i think if that's what you mean, then you're absolutely right. if she's looking to potentially divorce him, then i think you should back up her decision in whatever she chooses. but as far as cheating goes, i don't think you should encourage her into that sort of behavior. because what happens if she regrets it a ton, and holds you partially responsible? even more, in my opinion, there's a moral code to live by. i'm not a religious person, but i do believe that seeking revenge is bad news. if she loves him and truly forgives him, she will feel no need to seek revenge. because that's not true forgiveness. and that's not true love. and all else aside, that's not the mature thing to do. if she wants to save her marriage, cheaing will do nothing but harm. if she wants a divorce, then she should divorce him, and wait before she starts sleeping with other men. but i don't believe she should sleep with anyone while still being married.
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