A
female
age
26-29,
*eckySmith101
writes:My friend (she is 14) has been daydreaming about a guy that is 4 years older than her (18) we'll call him B and her A. she has only seen him once and talks to him on facebook nearly non-stop. She told me that he has wanted to meet up with her on several occasions and she has always said no because she was scared of what other people would think (from looking at me, ppl annoyed the hell out of me when they learnt i was going out with a guy 2 years older)So anyway, she has finally said yes to this guy and has gone to the cinema with him. Me and my friends saw him last wednesday and yes, he was as cute as she said he was. But when she went off to sqeal with one of her friends, he made a move on me! asked if i had a bf and when i said yes he ignored it and tried to kiss me! I told him no and that he should break up with A if he was gonna be like that.I have told A what he did and she said that i was just jelous of her and that i wanted him. But i've done some reasearch (dont ask) about him and he has been with many girls who are younger than him. he acts all nice around them, uses them for sex then dumps them. I'm now seriously worried. For her sake. if he has been with so many girls, who knows what STD's he has!!! she is also underage which scares me the most. She wont listen to me anymore and i dont want to lose her. Is there anything i can do? Please!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ashley Pickets  +, writes (29 March 2012):
Your very welcome.. And i try not to ...
A
female
reader, BeckySmith101 +, writes (25 March 2012):
BeckySmith101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone :) and dont beat yourself up ashley, it does!
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (25 March 2012):
 OP, I think you are beginning to see what happens when a 14 year old girl gets an idea in her head and will not see the reality of a situation.
We get so many girls your age (14) on here who talk about wanting to have sex with their boyfriends, trying to get advice on how to seduce older boys and think they are all grown up and mature.
They just will not listen to us 'oldies' who are out to try and spoil their fun. They are 14, therefore they know what is best for them.
They do not realise what dangers they are putting themselves in or the damage they could be doing to their young lives.
She will not listen to you. Just as you wouldn't listen either if you really liked a boy. It is always easier to see the reality when it is not happening to you.
As it stands, your friend is in a bit of a mess. This is an 18 year old MAN. He has no business dating a 14 year old child, and if he even tries to touch her in an innapropriate way, he is breaking the law.
Not only is she underage (legal age of consent is 16), but also ANY sexual touching could be punishable by a jail term. Look up the sexual offences act for all the details.
Teenagers your age think it is a big joke, and that dating older men is exciting and makes you mature. It doesnt. It just makes you naive and gullible.
Your friend is not going to listen to you until she gets hurt. Whatever you do, she will blame you for ruining her 'dream' relationship. You need to tell her parents, or a teacher, they are the only people who can deal with this situation properly.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (25 March 2012):
 Wow, she must really like this guy.. like A LOT. For her to completely disregard what you said about him trying to kiss you, yet still defend him, she is not going to listen at all. For her to say that you're the ONE that's jealous, it doesn't sound like many will get through to her.
You've tried to get her away from him, so maybe the opposite has to be done. He has to get away from her.
You should tell her parents. Her parents will want to meet him, and that will scare him away because he know he is doing something wrong by dating under-aged girls. If her parents make him pick her up from her house, there is no way he is going to want to do that. He doesn't want to run in to her parents. He'll stop pursuing her. So get the parents involved.
She might hate you at first, and it might put a damper on your relationship with her, but if she's sensible, she will soon realize you did it because you care.
Best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): She needs to be put off and your right to be concerned he sounds like a low-life.
The fact she is underage is very worrying. Do you know her family, her sister or brother that you could talk to? Tell them your concerned and why.
Your friend won't listen to you because she likes this lad.
Is he local and is there anybody else that could warn him off this girl if she doesn't have brothers or sisters?
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A
female
reader, Ashley Pickets +, writes (25 March 2012):
U should definitely tell her how u feel... Show her the research tht u have done... Maybe then she will understand what u mean, about him.. She just thinks tht he "is the one" But he isnt ... Obviously, shes just ganna be a sex doll... Thts why he tried to hit on u, he needs more than one at a time... Maybe u should get ur phone or a tape recorder to record, him when he hits on u.. She should definitly beleive u afterwords... If she dont well its kindah her fault then( not tryin to be rude tho) But just be there for her when she gets heart broken... Im hoping this will help u, in ny way... Sorry if it doesnt :))
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