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female
age
,
*osad
writes: I have been let down badly by 2 ex husbands who have both left to be with other women. i now find 6 years later i am involved with a married man who i adore and love dearly. i dont want to hurt anyone like i was hurt but cant let go. how can i give him up?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Good for you for ending it!
It will hurt for a time, and you will grieve. Let those feelings be there, but try not to "dwell" on them. Do you have a close friend or counsellor you can talk with, who will not be judgmental about this?
Stay connected with other friends and family; focus on your job and social activities you enjoy during your leisure time. Don't be afraid to enjoy your own company, too! Meditate; read a book you've been meaning to get to; do projects around the house that need attention.
Then, take some time to reflect on what has happened, and see what you can learn from this experience. You have done the right thing in ending it because his first commitment should be to his wife and children, so at least there might be some consolation in knowing you have broken it off.
Gradually the pain and hurt will fade, and maybe you will feel ready to seek male companionship again, with a nice man who will really like you and be free to focus on building a relationship with you!
If not, enjoy being single! When we get a little older, its nice to have bf, yet it would be hard to give up our own home to move in with someone else.....you get used to being (more or less) happily on your own......all the best!
A
female
reader, sosad +, writes (28 December 2006):
sosad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your honest response. it is all that i think and have sadly ended it last night. its painful, i am hurt and lonely and now have to try and pick myself up. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): You recognize that you are contributing to his betrayal of his wife and children, and they are being hurt by this. You recognize that being involved with him is wrong.
He is married, he is not free to be with you. You remember how much it hurt you when your two ex-husbands abandoned you for other women. Painful and traumatic as that was, it is no reason for you to be involved in this relationship that can go nowhere.
Tell him you are breaking it off, and then tell him not to call, write or visit you any more. Just do it. Then stick with it, no matter how difficult, knowing you are doing the right thing, and giving yourself an opportunity to eventually meet a man who will be free to love you for yourself.
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