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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi ive been in my relationship with my fiance for 2 years now just recently i found out that she was cheating with another guy i know she loves me and i feel like she made a mistake the question i have is should i give it a go or should i get out while i can so i dont get hurt again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): I cheated on my fiance 2 times. Honestly it was because he was controlling and that made him even more controlling. Honestly I DO LOVE HIM. I want to marry him oct 11. but im worried that this issue wont go away. I let him control me because i love him and i deserve this for cheating but its been 7 years now and he still throws it in my face every day. Its always "what have you done" and we argue and argue he says he wil change once i move in but im worried. dont be like this to her if you cant forgive her let her go.
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male
reader, Curiepoint  +, writes (3 August 2009):
There is nothing worse than loving someone and having to constantly look over your shoulder. Think about...if you two stay together, get married, have a couple of kids, etc...do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering when she starts acting suspiciously? Do you want your default posture to always be "I wonder if she's doing it again"?The hard truth is simply this:Once a cheater, always a cheater.If you cave in and let it all blow over, she will know, subconsciously or otherwise, that she can get away with it. Once that thought is solidified in her brain, she will do it again, sooner or later. Oh, she'll justify it all by saying that it was meaningless flirting, or she just wanted to see if you loved her that much, or she might even get all uppity in your face and try and paint it all as being your fault or worse...her inalienable right to cheat on you. It sounds unbelievable, but there is a mindset out there that if she misbehaves, it's your fault, and anyway she has a right to be fulfilled whatever the cost.When you get right down to it, nobody has the right to lead you to believe one thing and go on and do something else that is diametrically opposed to it. Yes, she can change her mind, but she doesn't have the right to string you along, just in case her current flame doesn't pan out to be all that. You are being used, and you are being emotionally abused.Get the hell away from her, even if it hurts for a while, even a long while. I assure you, it will hurt far worse living in suspicion, and/or having it happen again. Don't even tell her why...just break it off and leave her reeling.
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female
reader, Pregnant Fairy  +, writes (14 March 2009):
I have been with my fiancee for almost 2 years and I am 7 months pregnant now. He cheated on me with the trashiest girl i know... I have never cheated on him and it brakes my heart, I don't know what to do.
We have a baby due in 2 months, do I stay or leave?
As I'm typing this it is 3:10am he went out again last night (I have been alone for the last 6 weekends) and she's also at the pub he's at tonight but I cant even say anything coz she's part of the bike club he belongs to and he's scared they kick him out - It would be better but he will hate me after that.
For some reason I can't stop thinking that maybe I did something wrong - he blames me for cheating on me.
Baby is moving now and he's not even here to feel it.
I am so sad...
The only thing inside me is my beautifull little boy growing inside of me and I am getting scared that I will end up doing something to myself coz I cant live like this but I cant live without him.
He said he was going to try but he's not.
PLEASE HELP...
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female
reader, kittycatsc +, writes (31 July 2008):
Well if she cheated ,she might do it again so go on with your life and find another mate ,god will send you one all you have to do is pray.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): I had that happen to me. Got engaged and came back to get everything ready for us. Found out that during my departure away from her, she got involved with guys. Why is it so hard to find a trust worthy woman in this day in age? Good luck my friend. There are only a few women worth anything in this world. Best of luck and may God give you ease of pain. For I feel that everyday.
Peter
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I'd find out why she was cheating on me and then give her a chance to explain!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): If she cheated on you, you should realize that she may do it again and next time it will hurt even more. All that glitters is NOT gold. She will come up with all sorts of reasons to justify her actions - "i was confused; you gave me mixed signals; I didn't know what to do" etc. However, the bottom line is that if she didn't have the ethics and good judgment the first time, she will likely not have it in future. Do what your gut tells you. After all, if we can wash the nastiest germs off ourselves with soap, she can take a clean bath and take that guy's DNA out of her system
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): My fiancee cheated on me. I tried relationship counseling, but she backed out. I asked her to stay away from the guy. She wouldn't. He called all the time, they hung out all the time, and I hardly ever saw her. I finally called it quits. It's painful, but it was worse living with her and being engaged to her. First try a few things and see if she's willing to change and make amends for her mistake. If she doesn't, then leave the relationship. She's not worth it and doesn't really love you if she doesn't make sacrifices to really prove to you how much she wants to keep you and make-up for her mistake. In my case, she didn't really love me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): Get the F out dude! This happened to me too, but I went ahead and married her. It's been a deceint marriage with 3 wonderful children but I can't get over the cheating. Save yourself the heartbreak!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): If she cheated within two years of your relationship, I would certainly let her go. I have been married 26 years and you do tend to get bored. Speaking from your point of view because i was also cheated on, move on. I didnt though because i have children and i dont want another daddy for them. It has been 9 years now since this happened and i am still bitter.
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female
reader, greeneyesaz +, writes (5 January 2006):
It's a hard situation, there is alot of time and emotions invested in a relationship. Can you really trust her again, look in her eyes and not see images of her with another? I myself just got engaged, and it breaks my heart even when he checks out another girl. It hurts to think that he is posibly having sexual thoughts about another. If I were you I would try to make it work, but also remember you must fully forgive her if you are to stay because a lingering thought such as her cheatin will cause problems, maybe not right away but sooner or later it will. Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): I agree with mommy of three it's to tough to deal with cause you do love her but, who wants to deal with that pain of not trusting the one your with getting cheated on is so hurtful and it can become a huge conflict in your relationship if you stay with her. I have always thought that cheating is so sneaky and dirty I truly feel if someone is in a relationship and they start to have feelings for someone else why not just tell the person they are with and end it then they have free range to go do who ever it's so crazy to me that a person who says they love you would do that but, doesn't love you enuff to tell you it's over before they hurt you.I feel bad for you cause you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this women but, she shattered that thought when she did what she did. I would move on as hard as it is if you don't who knows if she would do it again If you do I would deffinetly postpone the wedding to make sure it's a while after this before you decide to marry this women . aslo I would make sure this isn't some thing that is gonna eat at you cause you'll never be able to deal. She would need to prove herself over and over again and the trust may not come for a very very long time it takes years to trust someone and only seconds not to trust again so think about it long and hard take a break from her if need be.Good luck!!!
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male
reader, SKYRAIDER_82 +, writes (4 January 2006):
Run, run and run a bit more. Obviously a committment means nothing to her. When she said she would marry you she made a committment to you and you alone. Cut your losses and move on. I know right now you think she may be the only one, but I can assure you there will be another woman out there who will trip your trigger. This my friend is not just a red flag, but the Titanic....the ship is sinking.
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (4 January 2006):
 if it was a one off mistake id say if you love her give it another go , if you can be comfortable with that but , you say she was cheating? did it happen with this guy more than once, id find that behaviour hard to understand in a loving relationship
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (4 January 2006):
 Once the trust has been broken it is very hard to earn it back. You have to decide if you can forgive her, enough that you don't throw it in her face everytime you get mad at her. If you feel like she is trully going to be faithful to you and you really want to work it out, I would recomend couples therapy before you two get married to make sure you have both worked through this. Good luck.
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