A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm depressed lately because I just realize that my life sucks. I don't have friends to hang out, my boyfriend also live in boring life, he also feel lonely lately because he doesn't go out much. He broke up with me a few months ago, and his appearance changes, I assume he tried to find new girlfriend so that's why he who doesn't care about his appearance before as 5 years with him, now become aware about his appearance. I can't prove that he's trying to replace me with other girl, but when we got back I asked him did he find another girl? He said yes, just a bit texting but never meet up. He seems jealous and annoyed knowing there's another man chasing me, How can I go on with this situation, as I'm not happy with my own life and I don't feel secure with him, because I think he's changed? I don't like his changes, I love who he's before we broke up. I know he still loves me, but I can't help feeling insecure thinking about what hed done when we are broke up phase, he ignored me and treated me bad. But before and after the broke up, he's so sweet and kind to me. Everytime I talk about this now, about his changes and am I still the only one for him he got angry and said why I keep asking that. I know he's going to proposed me soon as he made rings for us. But I still feel insecure and unsure about my fEeling for him? I don't like his chnges. I don't feel anything when we meet because I hate his apperance. We also only meet 2 a week.What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2014): Your relationship isn't secure and sounds very immature. Two people who feel their lives suck shouldn't get married.
If your life sucks, exactly what will you bring to a marriage? You say is sucks, how? Do you have a college-education and a job? Perhaps if you had goals and plans for your future, you'd feel better about your life.
You only took him back out of jealousy that he was seeing someone else. Then you're nagging him about his personal choices. If he wanted to change his appearance, he doesn't need your approval or permission. If you love him so much, you'd be happy for him. Sounds more like misery wants company, than a relationship.
Before your relationship will ever work, you have to find your own happiness. You're using a relationship as something to do with yourself. Going back and forth about your feelings; because he refuses to go back to a place in his life where he wasn't pleased how he looked. He decided to do something about it, other than complain. If another guy is checking you out, good for you. Don't use it as a way to manipulate him in to being the way you want him to be.
You don't need a relationship. You need to work on your life and get things in order. You need to discover yourself and your potential. Try a few things new and seek new interests outside having a boyfriend. If your feelings have changed, don't lead him on. You liked him when he felt less secure about his appearance. That doesn't really doesn't make any sense, if you truly care about him.
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