A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ever since my boyfriend moved back to my home town. I've been rebelling with my family. My family doesn't approve, so ever since then my mom has been trying to keep me on a leash, so I rebel even more.She changed my curfew an hour less, and always acts as if I am a little kid.I've been with my boyfriend for nine months and I wish they could understand my relationship with him but they don't.My mom told me to pack my stuff and get out, because she isn't putting up with me anymore. The same thing happen to my brother when he was my age.I try to talk civil with her but she says she is done trying to talk civil with me because that has never worked. I don't know how to mend our broken relationship. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): You haven't even bothered to say that there's nothing for your mother to be worried about in your relationship.
The job of a parent is to protect you until you've developed the judgment to protect yourself. All of us when we were 15 knew it all and didn't need our parents interfering in our lives. Until we figured out later that that wasn't the case.
As much as it may seem like it, you mom isn't behaving this way because she likes being a screaming nag. She's doing it because she cares, and because it's her responsibility. Your relationship with her can't be mended if you continue to defy her.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 The threat to kick a teen out was the worst mistake of my parenting life so far. On the other hand I do know a bit of how mom feels here. It's a bit like watching a car accident. You can see that someone is making a mistake and they are going to get hurt but there is nothing you can do. If I was your Mom I'd put less energy into trying to control you and more into getting the first aid kit ready.
I hope this helps you to see it a bit from her point of view.
FA
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 July 2009):
 You can mend your relationship by obeying her rules and keeping a civil tongue in your head. In this case, it really is her way or the highway. If, over time, she can begin to trust you again then maybe she'll be inclined to loosen the rules up a tad.
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