A
female
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anonymous
writes:well here i go! sorry if it is long i have to get alot off my chest.... im 17 years old!everything in my life is going wrong at the moment. Everything i seem to do makes my mum and stepdad angry. My mum will ask me to do one thing and when i do it she has a go at me saying the best thing i can do is hold my baby sister so i say okay and go to take her and my mum will yell at me saying she dosent want me too! My stepdad hates me he is constantly swearing at me and i can hear him and my mum slagging me off when they think i cant hear!! "she dosent do anything, if we didnt get child benifit she would be out!" which is a lie beause i am always doing the housework!I got kicked out of college last week because i failed my exams and that started off one big arguement. i have been job hunting everyday since and they say i am not looking enough! I am to pay my mum £80 a week dig money to cover the loss of money she will not be recieving.I am on anti-depresssants at the moment and they dont seem to be working.... i have been on them for months.When i was 11 i was attacked by a guy in the woods, he pulled my pants down and touched me and made me sware not to tell anyone ( i told my mum a couple of weeks later) and nothing was ever done about it!!Also my real dad is an alcoholic and always has been.. he tells me he wishes id never been born but then sometimes he tells me he loves me and always will. My dad was abusive and me and my mum moved to another country to get away. I go to see family and sometimes see him and when i go down i get forced to see hiim when i want nothing to do with him.My sister died last year and i obviously was really upset, i was in my room crying and my stepdad came through and told me to stop crying and go to my room because i wasnt being a daughter to my mum. My brother died aswell 18 years ago and that is another thing that gets me down..Today my mum said i looked like a dog!!i will like ending everything but the only thing that stops me is my new sister and the fact that for once i have a guy (he is 30) that likes me for who i am and understands everything i have been through!! He keeps telling me to move out but if i did my mum wouldnt get a house (we live in an 2 bedroomed upstairs flat and there is 4 people living in it!! (The council wont move us)Sorry for rambling on if nobody replys i will understand!! i know i dont deserve it i must be an awful daughter or my family wouldnt hate me so much!!!
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female
reader, sunny75675  +, writes (20 May 2010):
ill reply 17 year old girl well i really dont know your name but i will tell you that your problem is just like mine, exept i grew up without a father, and for me its like i also feel left out, like they hate me, but just because they hate you doesnt mean you have to kill yourself. also i am very sorry about your brothers and sister dieing. my family also said i had a brother or was it a sister,well nobody knew for real but it is sad after you have known them for a long time. my dad wasnt an alcoholic he was a well you know one of those persons who goes around getting other people pregnet and then leaves them. yes that was how i was born. but well i dont know your name but i want you to remember something really important.... i want you to remember that when somebody has a baby and treats them bad i want you to remember that that baby didnt ask to be born. so you tell your mother or stepfather or whatever that eather them or you has to change this family and that nobody and i mean nobody asked you or anybody to be born.
i give you all my blessing and best luck, wishes,
yours truly,
SUNNY AKA bestes freind adviser. ;)
A
male
reader, hitman hamza +, writes (30 April 2010):
i am really hurt hearing your problem as i have experienced many family problems myself but i urge you to never give up hope. however, deep inside my heart i know that your mum loves you just listen to her as i have learnt that even if she won't show you love inside her heart u mean the world to her.
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A
male
reader, kid +, writes (26 October 2009):
well your not the only one i have a bad family as well(other than my dad).my brother is a 18 year old that swears at me hits me kicks me calls me fat and just hates me.His girl freind is ok but when hes gone verbaly abuses me .Im only eleven fso the only way i can feel better is if i eat but now im just getting surviraly depresed.My mum always protects my brother and sister but when ever its me she just ignores it .I was bullied at school for 6 years and this is my 7 year of being bullied.My dad is the only one that understands mebut he has moved one and a half hours away because my mum now officaly hates the sight of him the only time shes happy to see him is when he ows her monny.Sorry for talking for so long but this helps me.
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A
male
reader, arklie +, writes (30 June 2009):
alls i want to say is stop beating yourself up about things thats arnt ur fault what i can see is ur stepfather is manipulitive and is not helping u and ur mum i think u r the adult in all of this and think that ur boyfriend is right maybe talk to ur mum and stepdad and tell them u have heard u speaking about them i hope u resolve this i am having some troubles of my own i feel u
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Hi,Well that was a lot of information. I feel really bad for you. I have been through a lot myself. But not as much as you have. First of all let me say that I am sorry for all your losses. It's very hard to loose any family members. You are entitled to cry if you wan't. Any time you feel like it. Crying can be a healthy way to let out frustration and sadness, You are going through a lot. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a anonimous hot line. If your mother is refering to you as a dog this is very mentally abusive. And is not right. You are still young and though this guy you are talking to may make you feel better. He is too old. You can find someone a little younger to confide in. I know it seems like he may be the only one who cares about you. But, there is something wrong with him if he is talking to a girl half his age. I would like you to think about this. You never know he could be a pervert. Or maybe even worse. Dont take your chances. It could end up really bad. As for your step-dad. I don't know your relationship with him. But just do what your told and stay out of your parents hair. You will be 18 soon and maybe you should think about getting a place with a friend. Go to college. Maybe even get a nursing degree. Trust me youll need a degree. Then youll be able to start a new life. Without all of this abuse. You have been through enough. Make sure to stay close wihth youre sister. She will need you some day. But I think that a little councling goes a long way. Someone needs to know what is going on at home if you want it to stop. Tell someone. A professional. It sounds to me that youre family has had a tough road. Councling could help the entire family. You are getting older now. So make some changes to get along with youre family for now. And work on speaking to someone. Good luck to you, I hope you feel bettter today and it gets better and better for you. Just remember that life is very hard sometimes. It's never perfect. Get god in youre life. Pray as much as you can. Trust me when I feel like I have no one, God is always there. He can help you through tuff times like these. Just try it. What do you have to loose.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): Oh my God I am so sorry for what you are going through. I've just read your msg and I hope I'm not too late with writting this. Us children never asked to be put in this world and it is not your responsibility to stay just so that your mum could have a house. She is the adult and the same goes for your stepdad,they are the ones responsible for you. Please dont think that ending your life is the best way coz it isn't. You have the whole world at your feet,there are so many possibilities out there for you. I know its hard coz I've been there,trust me it will be hard work but anything is better than the bullying and abuse you are getting at home. Look after yourself my girl,ask for help from social services and when you get sorted you'll be able to help your sister coz trust me she'll need it one day. If your mum can do this to you then she can do it to your sister.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007): its ok dont get ur self down about it. DON'T let ur mum and stepdad bully u into things it will all be ok every-1 has a hard time. xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): I agree with CarrieMagdelene, any 30 year old with a 17 year old is NOT healthy for eather party, it IS your life, I am ot rying to change that. Your familiy sucks so DID mine. DID because I turned 18 and turned my back on the lot of them. they dont deserve to know you. Your bf is a choice you have to make, healthy or no but you have a history of being small and forced by bigger men and that kind of relationship is a way of staying small with forcefull, and destructive men. you can do better. Suicide is NEVER the answer, not because it doesnt work mind you if your dead problem solved, but your bro and sis dying is very sad, but what good would it do? I have seen sucide before and after and the folks who have witnessed it first hand, all are years after the expeirence and still effected, I stood fast and outlasted the suicidal desires and self destructive behaviour, and now grown adults ask me for strength when they cannot find it for themselves, hang in there, you will be 18 soon and can sign them off to live your own life. God bless you and good luck.
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (24 January 2007):
 It really sounds like you need to move to a safer place. There are organizations that take in battered and abused women, and you sound like you qualify. Remember that even if your mother won't have a place to live, YOU ARE A WOMAN, AND A HUMAN BEING! You have done nothing wrong and deserve to be treated kindly and with love. I agree that moving out will be the best option. You are 17, and not required to PAY TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS.
I know a guy whose sister, a very famous person, sat and fought with her mother about her own money, and then the subject switched to the mother, who wanted child support from her ex-husband for the times that the guy and the sister weren't even living at her house. The sister got so fed up with it that she paid her OWN child support. You don't have to do that. Look at your options (you can find them easily using the net), and do what's right for yourself. Respect yourself enough to save yourself.
Lots of love, -Carrie
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