A
female
age
26-29,
*neThousandFridays
writes: I've liked a guy for 3 years. Three years of trying to grab his attention. Whenever he talks/talked to me I feel adrenaline pump through my veins in excitement. Recently We have been extremely close and about 3 days ago he o asked me out. I was so happy. Of course I said yeah. But the problem is. He has a past. He used to do drugs, drink steal. He was in a mess. But after we started hanging out he promised stop (We've been hanging out for about 7 months.) He has been absolutely clean and another bonus, the root of his problem was taken care of and he was put in foster care.) But my mom, who works in a popular store at the mall calls security at the sigh of him and litteraly gets him kicked out of the mall. She found out I hung out with him and Forbade me to even talk to him. She even sends her friends and a few family members to call me or drop up around the place I say I'm hanging out to make sure he is not around. So for a few months we have been sneeking to my best friends house to meet and if my dad happens to drop by (WHICH HAPPENS A LOT. ) we push him under the bed and her Grandmother plays along as if he is not there. There is not talking to my parents about it. I mean, I try But they just yell at me and once even grounded me. What should I do?! (And please if you're going to answer don't tell me my parents know best, because He is clean, and one of the most nicest people I know and by doing this they're only hurting me more than helping.)
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 How do you know this boy is 100% clean? Is he enrolled in a drug program, rehab? People who are drug users can't give up drugs at the drop of hat. It takes time and often intervention from family matters. I hope he has given up drugs.
Look you may think you're parents are ruining your life by not letting you see this troubled guy, but they are seriously looking out for your best interests. Given your boyfriend's far from perfect track record, how do you expect them to act? Of course they're not going to want you dating him!
If you keep on sneaking around behind their backs, then they're going to keep on grounding you.
You don't really have a choice. It's their house, their rules. Looks like you're going to bite the bullet and let it go with this guy..maybe he'll wait for you when you turn 18 and can move out of your parent's house.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): I don't know how good your relationship with your parents is, but you should try to gain more trust from them. Spend some quality time with them, show them how responsible you can be in every aspect of your life, and respect their decisions on everything (except this particular issue ;))
You need to understand that your parents are concerned for your safety and for your future. Even if they don't know the whole story and are wrong, they believe they are doing what's best for you. So it'll probably be very hard to make them change their minds, but with time, patience and gentleness, you can probably achieve something. Directly confronting them about the issue will probably make it worse, but open dialogue can do a lot for you. For example, you could randomly ask them if they believe in second chances, without making any reference to your friend. Anything to open their minds.
Good luck! :)
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