A
female
age
26-29,
*llRiledUp010
writes:Hi! I would really appreciate it if you could help me! Ever since I made a Facebook account, I found that I looked so much prettier in my photos, whether they were mobile uploads, photoshopped, or profile pictures. Somehow my itouch was able to capture my face in a way that made my features almost perfect. The problem is, i'm not seeing this "perfection" in the mirror or in other digital cameras. I don't know if I'm exaggerating, but it seems like I'm not as pretty in real life. Then again, pictures are deceiving. The main problem is that recently, on Facebook, I've uploaded about 100 photos on my wall that I thought looked absolutely amazing. My friends commented and liked, especially guys, and I got more texts from upperclassmen guys requesting pictures from me. Creepy, I know, but I've never had this attention before. I'm afraid because I've gained some unwanted weight, and if one of those upperclassmen recognizes me, it'll ruin everything. I know I'm obsessed, but it feels good to be "hot" I guess. The reason I'm here is a few days ago, a really adorable boy asked me out, who is out of state. He keeps saying I'm gorgeous and hot, etc, but I don't feel like myself. All of those pictures make me look like a model, and thin. Not what I see in the mirror. I don't want guys to ask me out for what they see on Facebook, but I love this attention! How can I fix it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Change the pictures.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 There is a simple fix...delete your facebook account or delete all pictures from your facebook account. It is just fake attention, but there is a great deal that is fake about social networking websites. If you upload pictures of a pretty girl, expect to get attention. Unfortunately some of this attention will be from 50 year old fat balding paedophiles who pretend to be handsome 15 year old rich young males to get your attention. You are surely not naive enough to think you are the only one photo-shopping your pics. It is a dangerous world and by accepting friend requests from strangers then you are inviting trouble. For a cyber-stalker it is not so difficult to hack into your account or piece together information about your whereabouts from what they read on your profile. There was a girl about your age in the local newspaper last year who was on facebook and announced she was going on a school trip to a museum in London on a certain day. She had been chatting to a 'teenage boy' beforehand and added him to her friends list as she thought he was cute. A man with a criminal history of child abuse approached her at the museum and attempted to assault her during this school trip because he was the 'teenage boy' and gleaned enough information about her whereabouts from her profile to locate her. Fortunately teachers were around to intervene but it goes to show you how blatant some of these offenders can be as they can have dangerous obsessive personality disorders. It maybe flattering to get attention from lads but you have to be friends with people in the real world who like you for your personality. Males approaching you on Facebook purely on the basis of a photo are sexually motivated and looking for a cheap thrill, but there is more to you than just being a sex-object to be used and abused, surely?
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (4 March 2011):
 My first response will be to let you know.. that while my digital camera can turn a whole room and all it's people orange, my phone shows me what it really is.
Secondly,
NO. YOU DO NOT WANT GUYS WHO WANT YOU FOR HOW YOU LOOK. I know that my saying that will not really do the trick.. and I know the attention feels amazing and gives you little confidence boosts all day... but NO. I don't post too many pictures on facebook because I feel ugly.. but I have to know that I'm not because I get a ton of guys all over me all day. I feel like a look ugly, but peoples' words and actions don't show me that. Well it's nice for a little while, hearing good things, but once you want to actually find a good guy to maybe spend some times with.. it's really eart breaking knowing he's actually a douche bag who only liked you for your looks. I have guys hitting on me trying to cheat on me with their gf's.. guys trying to get me into threesomes.. and it's all disgusting to me. I want one guy who likes me for who I am and can handle all my baggage... and who cared to get to know me BEFORE asking me out, no matter how cute he thought I was.
It's way better to be cared about than lusted over. Please don't let these guys get to your head. Treasure yourself, and some amazing guy will treasure you one day... truly treasure you: for your heart, soul, mind, and body.
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