A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all, any answers or advice on this situation will be greatly appreciated. So thankyou in advance.Im 18 years old, currently studying for my alevels, so that i can go to university and make something of my life, i am in a relationship with a amazing boy whos in the fire service, and have been for around four months. The problem is though, my ex boyfriend of a year and 7 months, i ended the relationship nearly a year ago now due to violence, but have only had problems off him and his family since.When i first got with my ex he was wonderful, until around 2 months into the relationship, he became very controlling, but he did it gradually, so i didnt really notice that i had stopped seeing friends, i stopped going out to clubs and pubs, and spent all my time in school or at home with him, if i wasnt with him, he made sure i was at home by myself. My friends noticed this, but i thought they were being silly. Then after about 7/8 months the violence started, if i didnt do something he liked, he would threaten to leave, call me abusive names, and then when i tried to stop him leaving (which he new i would do) he would throw me into walls, grip my arms so tight they turned blue, pinch me, and even banged my head into a wall repeatedly.Then to add to my problems his family decided they didnt like me because i apparently didnt know how tought life could be. His family didnt like me because i lived in a wealthier area, because my mum and dad hadnt been divorced and havent got children from other relationship, basically they hated me for having the perfect family life.His mum had been divorced 3 times, and his step dad had been divorced twice, his mum had 5 childen from 4 different men, and his step dad has 4 children from 2 different women, none of this bothered me in the slightest, but for some reason it bothered them. I admitt im spoilt, i have never wanted after anything, but my mother and father work extremely hard and got a good education to make sure that me and my sister were brought up properly in a safe and happy environment, and i am truly grateful for that. Now my ex boyfriend has decided that he wants me back and still loves me, even to the point him and his family come out to eat at the place i work, as he suggests it. He then sits there and texts me telling me his family are talking about me and my family, and perposley makes a mess and demands things as he thinks its funny, this is all apparently because he loves me. I walked past his step dad and stopped to say hello and his step dad glared at me and turned around so that he couldnt see me, my work collegues found this hillarious, how i had been rejected in front of everyone, then his mum had the cheek to walk past me and call me a 'rude little girl' for not attemtping to say hello. My boss even got involved and stuck up for me, as she thought it was ridiculous as she had seen it all.His family made my life hell when i was with him, and now there doing it when im not. How will i ever get rid of them? I also really dont want my mum to find out, as she really likes my ex boyfriend, she doesnt know anything thats happend, and really feels sorry for him as he has to work for everything and buys his own food. If my mum found out his family was talking about me and my family in this way i know she would be devasted as she treated him as one of the family, and really made him welcome, and still says if he ever needs anything he only has to ask.I think its unbelievable that he abused me mentally and physically and yet his family no nothing, so are treating me as if im the person that hurt there son, when infact i havent done anything at all. The only thing i did was end the relationship with there son, and they dont even no the real reason i did that.Do you think i should confront his family over how he treated me, and how they made me feel?
View related questions:
divorce, my boss, my ex, text, university, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 I would avoid any unnecesary contact with him or his family. If he or his family come into where you work I would treat them as any other customer, if they spill stuff just clean it up, with a smile, if they make it difficult for you speak with your boss who has already seen them in action, maybe she would be happy for another staff member to deal with them when they come in.
They sound horrible and I wouldnt even consider getting back with your ex, why would you. Eventually they will get bored and give up on you if you don't let them see its affecting you in any way.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 If you do have the opportunity to talk to them, by all means tell your side of the story.
Whether they will believe you or not is another matter.Let your mom see the truth too about him.
Otherwise, she still thinks that he is an angel.Correct her misconceptions about him to prevent any untowards incident.
If they cannot accept your version , leave them alone because they are bias and prejudiced against you and you cannot do anything when their minds are blocked and one sided.
...............................
|
