A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I just broke up with my 1.5 years boyfriend. We had so much fun together. I love him a lot. He is really nice boyfriend. The reason we broke up was he can't get over his feeling for the girl that he tried to get 1.5 yrs ago.Actually, the problem arise 1.5yrs ago. The girl that he wants to get is one of my best friend. I helped him to get her. However, it turned out that she just playing around with his feeling. He feel so miserable. I helped him to move on that time and accidentally, I am falling in love with him. He is a nice guy. I knew that time I should have got over him but we get closer and closer even more. And one day he told me that he likes me and want to be my boyfriend, I did not say yes that time because i know that he still love her. However, he promised me that he will get over her. So, i said yes.I told my best friend (the girl that he wants to be with) about me and him. She was damn angry. She said that i snatched him from her and i did not tell her anything about this before and suddenly said that we are couple already. So, she told him that actually she loves him. however, that time he chose me. He still want to be with me. I got a fight with her and didnot see or speak each other until now.Last month, my boyfriend went to the city she live, they hang out together also with another friend. I knew that would happen but he did not tell me about it. He said he did not meet her. However, facebook said the other way around, there is a photos of him, her, and another friends went to the bbq. I asked him about it and he said that actually he went out with her. Also, he told me that he cannot get over her. He still loves her. I cannot replace her place in his heart. I am mad. I tried to calm down my self. However, stuffs are getting worse. She sent him txts and now they chat everyday. My bf even checked her account many times to whether she is online. If she is not online, he is going to offline again. He even said to me that he missed her so much. He wanted to break up with me because he feel miserable to see i am crying everyday because of him and he wants to get his freedom back because he thought that I took his freedom away. However, he wants me to be his bestfriend and he mean it. He still want me to care about him. I love him so much. He was part of my dreams. I am broken. I want to get over him. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lanayi  +, writes (9 October 2010):
Hi!
DONT BE friends with someone you still have feeling for. NEVER. It will hurt your sould even more.
I know you dont wanna lose this person forever, but you need to go NC (no contact) for a while. Tell him you can't be friends. You need some time on your own. If the bond is strong you can get in touch with him later. He will understand.
Of course he wants to stay friends because it is convenient. If he makes a wrong decision he can take it back because you are still around, caring for him.
Say 'yes' to yourself and 'no' to him.
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