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My ex-lover is back on the scene, now that I'm over 18... and she's angling to get me back!

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am now an 18 year old female and in my last year of sixth form. I had a relationship with my 33 year old female teacher which started in August 2004 till September 2005.

My parents found out about it and put a stop to it. The police decided it wasn't criminal and the school cannot sack her as it started after I finished school.

At the time I thought I loved her and since September I have gone through a very painful couple of months of counselling and being separated from her. Finally I realise that I was taken advantage of and this was not a healthy relationship for an insecure 16 year old.

It's just that now the police have dropped the case and she is getting her job back she wants me back... She has sent me 2 short emails and visited me at the shop where I work just to give me a meaningful look.

This has completely thrown me after my months of counselling and starting to feel back on track... suddenly I almost feel swayed into going back to her. I know I need to sever this relationship but it hurts so much remembering what we used to have. I suppose I haven't quite dealt with all the issues surrounding this.

Anyway my question is... any tips for getting over her? Or at least whether I should write a letter telling her that we can't be together anymore? My parents completely forbid anymore contact with her.... I don't know what I want. I miss her.

View related questions: insecure

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A male reader, Monk +, writes (1 December 2005):

Oh get over it. It's as unhealthy or healthy as you want it to be. You're looking for a crutch and you've found one because society tells you that it can be one. This is a case of you making your own hell. Meanwhile, there are people around the world who have to deal with bombs and starvation. Grow up.

If you hadn't had this relationship, you'd find something else to blame for your emotional state.

BTW, stay away from clinical psychologists and social workers. They're good at forcing theories on their patients.

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